Khary Randolph's "The Black Book"

Khary's new book is out.....

The Black Book
He is a well-known illustrator based out of NYC
A portrait of me is in his book
You can pick up the book here if you like pretty artwork: kharupt.com

Who needs a lawnmower - buy some sheep....

As you travel down south - the scenery contains more and more churches. It's like this: KFC, church, McDonalds, church, Shoney's, church...... The citizens become more bible hugging, non-liberal, repenting republicans...... Yet, somehow their gas stations have the most perverted names ever. I mean, the Slip In, the Kum and Go, Peckers, and T&A? Are you kidding me?

Hotel I was staying at last night, had those little sprinkler-pipes all over the ceiling..... Next to each one was a sticker of a closet hanger.... saying, "DO NOT hang your clothes here".... and I thought that was funny. Because someone must have done that, draping their clothes around the room on the sprinklers....

Thought it was snowing in NC, but it was cotton season - then I thought it was snowing in SC but that was just dead roosters on the highway....

Jiffy Lube. Got my oil changed, new wipers put on the car. In the waiting room, the Garden Channel was playing..... I've decided that my new goal in life is to walk around a garden using words like "Grandeur" and "Fantastical" - and get paid for it.

I have started gluing Chinese fortunes to my computer with eyelash glue..... the fortunes remind me about things that are important.... like. "If a rubber band is pulled, shot in a direction, it will go straight." "If you seek the seeker you will be sought" or "Any decision you have to make tomorrow is a good decision" (I love that one... because it justifies anything I do).

Been Living in Fredericksburg for days now...

I wish I was better equip to deal with the highs and lows on the road. No stopping it. I am in Fredericksburg all depressed ... first three cancellations and then a photographer canceled because my voicemail said I was in NYC (I haven't changed my voicemail in two months) So I have just been sitting around, stuck in a big funk,

 ...... Ooooh and I am reading the last book from The Golden Compass.... it is really addicting. I wish I had a daemon, then I would never be alone like this.... I wonder what mine would be? They say that your daemon reflects who you are so mine would be something clever, good at getting into anything and everything, something that really enjoys food - like a raccoon. A trash panda... Yes, I would have a raccoon daemon. It would travel the country with me, sitting shotgun .... he would eat all the garbage in the front seat!!!! 

The Renaissance....

"So, what kind of photography do you shoot?" 

"Me? Renaissance.... most of my photography resembles paintings from the Renaissance - old, delicate. I paint with light - ... love the richness of that era....." 

"Wow, that is awesome, that time period was beautiful...." *drops robe* ".. lets shoot!!" 

"Yes! Lets do that! Now.... I want you to go over there and put your boob on the table. Yea. Now put your boob on the chair, now the bed post... yea, that is just great!"

Just like the Renaissance 

Pin-Up Event... SlyHorse Studios!!

Right now I am in Fredericksburg Virginia.... All three of my shoots canceled for this afternoon - Although cancellations always suck..... I am really excited for the freetime - Spent the morning running errands. Sending off the E-bay stuff, car washin, oil changin, deposits for the bank, laundry, cleaned out the front seat of my car - which was starting to smell like a really funky-nasty-armpit? I did not touch it, kicked all the garbage out of the car with my foot....

Everything wraps up, right? A bunch of people go to the restaurant around the corner - Get back to the studio to sleep, 2:30 am - and I hear a *rap rap rappin* on the door. A model and her photographer friend had car trouble. So here we are in a studio - sleeping under softboxes and alien bees....  my airbed, a clitoris shaped couch thing for the model and a blow up piece of cheese (for the photographer).

Retiring..... A Way of Life

So I took a break on writing - mostly because I feel like my drive has been lost....to model, to travel, to book jobs, to stay so busy all the time. Was talking to Kerri Taylor today on MM and she mentioned about how she is tired of modeling......I am starting to feel that way too? .. Tonight I mentioned to a photographer that I might retire this year......, "Looks like you've smartened up," he said...... Which kind of took me back. Do photographers think that modeling is not a good career choice?

..... I wonder if the feeling comes and goes?...... if it sticks?.... or if we'll go out and do something new? Who knows, maybe Kerri will quit next year and maybe I will go to school and get a waitress job somewhere..... Some days though, I wake up and I'm just so excited to go work - Like today! Shot in a giant warehouse against all these beautiful murals, with a space heater, some good coffee, and good company ..... climbed up on a roof, stopped the construction across the street..... it was fun. Tonight I am sleeping at Slyhorse Studios and they are having a pin-up event tomorrow evening, which I am going to be a part of... I miss Matthew, it has got me in a funk..... traveling alone is not all that much fun..... it is like you do a million awesome things, but there is no one to share it with.

Round round get around..... 2nd time around...

This is my new schedule for this year. I am going back on the road on Thursday morning - Destination: DC.... This time around, I am going to all the cities that I missed, Savannah (Ever read the book: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.... always wanted to go there after reading it), Key West, Memphis, Little Rock, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Fresno, Seattle, all of Canada, Fargo, Minneapolis, Kansas City, and all the National Parks in between.... even Jasper up near Edmonton.

Wife Shoot

Recently, a photographer hired me and he told me that I would be posing with another model. The model turned out to be his wife. She was 71 years old. Not that age matters (it does not) but lets just say that it was weird situation to walk into - Posing with someone's significant other *absolutely* should be discussed prior to shooting. My limits as a model are very straight forward. I pose naked but I do not pose sexually. But he kept pushing my limits, "Pretend to kiss, girls. Closer. Open your mouths. Closer." - I had to repeatedly tell him, "No" - These are the sort of shoots that make me nervous. The shoots where I walk in and I have no idea what is going to happen. Do I take a chance and make $300? Or do I walk away from my paycheck saying, "No thank you. This is not what we discussed prior and I do not feel safe here?"

Back at it.....

I spent the weekend shooting ridiculous clips with a friend - sitting on balloons, blow drying my hair, drinking water, smushing little people under my stilettos, working on vampire foot fetish..... it is always a goodtime, hanging out with people who's lives are just as strange as your own. No one asks questions - you just film things.

Back on the road, kind of unwillingly. This will be my second roadtrip and getting ready for it, did not feel quite as magical as the first time. But here we go AGAIN.

I am Harrisburg, PA!!! ... Motel 6-in it. Just finished working with Mr. Timothy Lantz tonight - that guy is a like a walking tarot card designer. Before my modeling days, I used to follow his work on DeviantArt... Shot some pinup work with Frank DeBlase the other night on a bear skin rug..... I just wanted to mention how people shoot bears..... to have sex on bears... in front of fireplaces? What is that? What other mammals do that? I just picture this grizzly in the wild, catching fish in some distant river and some random nudist couple spread eagle over the top of them. Humans are weird.

Home.

I am finally home in NY.... Mom had her Hawaiian wedding and people wore unfashionably colored Hawaiian prints. Old folks shuffled to the Electric Slide. All the attendees got their own starfish cookie (which Matt spent six hour frosting the night before).

No confrontations but I can feel a storm a-brewin..... Matt got offered the choice of traveling for three weeks with our good friend Jeff or heading back home to NYC (if he still has a home. He has been gone for a long time). He chose to go back to NYC - He deserves to live his life as he choose and if this is his choice, I support him. It is weird knowing that I will most likely be back on the road in a few weeks, by myself. I mean, I love to travel and sure, I am a massive introvert and I love my alone-time.... but there IS something deeply lonely sometimes in those big wide spaces. I am definitely going to miss having someone to hang out with on the long drives... Anyone want to roadtrip with me? I have a free seat starting in December.... Oh! And I managed to download a million and ten photoshop brushes this morning - here are some of my photoshoppin skillz... what do you think!

Shit hits the fan... eh?

Matt and I survived the creepy house - but not without a lot of lack of sleep. We hit the road at 5am, as soon as the sun came out. Something was going on in that house. Something paranormal. 

Mom has found out about a few things and is coming down on me hard. She wrote me an email about how she cannot forgive herself for not being a better mother and about how she cannot support my modeling career any longer (she really never did to begin with).

I also keep running into photographers who say that most derogatory things .. "Pout like someone told you to read a book this year..." Or that one photographer who refused to call me by my name. He called me "Model".... "Model go over there, Model turn around, Model put on this hat..." "I have a name...could you call me by it?" "No, I would rather not." Photographers like this make me feel so much less than a human. 

Matt and I are in Detroit Michigan - I have less than a week to figure out what I am doing once this trip comes full circle... One thing is for sure, I cannot possibly go home and deal with my mother if she is this upset. She will cry and beg and tell me how horrible modeling is - I cannot deal with that. I have things that I want to do with my life. I have very big dreams and it is very important that I authentically follow them. I realize that it is not what she wants for me (most of my family members do not want me doing this), but I am doing it for ME. I was really looking forward to going home. I feel like all the things that make me feel happy and comfortable have been stripped from me. Where am I going to go if I do not head home to NY?

If Matt and I die tonight....

"What did we get ourselves into? A photographer in Cincinnati offered to let Matthew and I stay at his photography studio (a very old farmhouse in the country) in exchange for one hour of modeling.

After unpacking, we noticed some neighbors having a campfire and decided to join (looking back, we could have gotten shot, I am not sure what we were thinking)... It was a weird situation all around. The weirdest part was where the woman asked us where we were staying and we pointed at the farmhouse and she looked all ominous and said, 'That was a KluKluxKlan meeting house. Dead people buried in that basement. You couldn't drag me in that house if you tried'

'Was she being serious or trying to scare us? She seemed so nice. Let's check the basement." - We found the basement but it wasn't a basement. Someone had poured cement right to the top of basement steps. There were three stairs and then cement. 

Could there bodies under the cement? Why would anyone pour that much cement into a basement?... We turned on the television, trying to block out the scary thoughts. We found board games and kept trying to stay busy... Halfway through Scrabble, the TV turned off by ITSELF. We could barely move, we were so scared. Things were falling off shelves.... We stayed up ALL night until the sun came up and took off at 5am. 

I googled the address from our motel. Sure enough, the house WAS a KKK meeting house. Very little about it online though (not surprising) - I wonder if some day that house will be excavated...? Or if the house will rot away and people will pass it on the road and never even think twice about the basement without steps. What a surreal experience"

Cincy shootin at Mt Airy - bangbang

St Louis: The Arch! The gateway to the West (or in our case, the East....) Matt and I did not get to see much of the city, but we did get to take Mork and Mindy pods to the top of the arch...... we crawled into the windows..... marveled at the view... "Oooh look! It is a little man! A little tree! A little river!"....and then we tried to squint really really hard to find a little Chinese restaurant so we could satisfy our never-ending craving for Wonton Soup.

Indianapolis: Our Hotel! Awesome photographer booked Matt and I this classy room at the Marriott. Talk about a great night, great room, great hotel - Matt and I had a dance party in our bedroom, ordered pizza, drank free lemonade, used pointless bath products, watched bad movies all night, and crashed in a bed that was so fluffy - it was like a cloud. A nice change from things, I was starting to believe that Motel 6 was not only our figurative home, but our literal home as well.... yay for the Marriott!! 

Tonight we are in Cincy. A photographer is letting us crash at his studio in return for a shoot tomorrow - We noticed some neighbors having an outdoor fire an hour ago and we went to join them. The woman told us that the house that we are staying in used to be a meeting place for the Ku-Klux-Klan...... "They used to hang people over there. There are dead people in the basement...." - I do not know if she is telling the truth. But that makes the house a lot less cozy.

Went to the Mount Airy Shoot today in Cinci - lots of fun. I have never attended something like that before.... Out of eight scheduled shoots, I managed to find four of the photographers (how are models supposed to know what photographers look like? Weird set up) 

T H Taylor

Is the Little-Red-Fox-of-Milwaukee....
And Matt and I love him.... lovelove.

Aww--- Matt posted a blog

.... I love sleep and I miss sleep, let me tell you... I will have worked with over thirty photographers this week.... thirty!

Have you ever just screamed in your car? No particular reason.... just because? I love it! It is really amusing when people drive by and Matt and I have the windows down.... and we are yelling back and forth, really loud, about nothing particular... ! Feels so good!

Millions of stories from the last week - millions of really great beautiful photos, many which have been showcased ..... but how about some an out-take, eh? Shot with a great guy named Ted a few days ago in Chicago in a warehouse location. The place was a kickass backdrop but as you would expect a warehouse to be, dusty and grimy.... Matt had to keep me clean for the photos... this candid is awesome...

(Matthew's Post)

London is shooting all the time. It is beyond madness. Her small but well deserved break in a few weeks is going to be well needed. If you get a chance to work with her you are lucky. She is a beautiful human being who believes in living her life to the fullest. She doesn't have time for drama or gossip though they seem to get under her skin easily. She is a strong woman who respects respect. She loves to see the spark of passion in people. If a person is in love with their life, she is drawn like a moth to a flame. It is weird to have spent so much time with my original best friend.... I am glad there are a few weeks left, I am going to enjoy every minute. I am not the best story teller so that is not what I am going to do. I love driving because I do not have to choose to exist. We roll down the highway listening to top 40. Convertible top down car bouncing from dance moves, truckers honking horns wishing, they could join the party. "Its alright baby you aint gotta flaunt for me" song comes on and it demands some serious sexy driving head bopping and grinding. I love the east coast I love color changing leaves. It is crazy to think just a few weeks ago we were walking the ocean.  Life is meant to be like this every day. It is supposed to be so beautiful every day, so that even on the worst days, you know you are free and that everything will always be good. I haven't been to Canada since I was eight years old. All I remember about it is that "everyone loves marine land". We are going to Toronto. I think I just enjoy this because this roadtrip is not real. Reality is boring and this is nothing like reality. This roadtrip reminds me that life is only as creative if you are brave enough to live it. No, you don't even have to be brave ,you just have to listen to your heart, your soul, your love. I tend to get sentimental but I like being this way. For all those who are here to read about London's sexy escapades, London is naked right now in front of me. Just kidding. She is taking me out for icecream again....matthew

An Epic Novel

Is actually what my life has become - you would never know it, unless you were to really read about it. 

In the past few days, I have seen and reported a dead guy, rode naked on a blind horse, drove a photographer to the emergency room, the mustang crapped out on me again and had to be towed again. No longer have Triple A - They said I call them too much... 

Made it to Chicago, finally..... We are staying with a body painter. I will say that staying here has given me a slightly different perspective on modeling - Although her and I know all the same photographers/models - She knows most of their life stories and I do not. I must say, I kind of enjoy not knowing things.

One more month...

One more month, this roadtrip will be over. Trying to make it home for my Mom's wedding. Got pulled over really late last night in Sioux Falls for speeding and since I lost my driver's license in NY's Penn Station (really long story. I ordered a new one).... they separated Matt and I to make sure we were not dangerous. "Are you smuggling drugs? Do you have any weapons in your car? What are you doing in South Dakota?" They seperated us. I sat in the police car and Matt in the mustang. Matthew was almost in tears. I've never been in a cop car before so that was interesting. We had nothing to hide and other than Burning Man, neither of us does drugs - so all is well. What else? Ooooh, Chinese Buffets. Matt and I have been hitting up the China Star restaurants... so if cops could label Won-ton soup as a drug, we are guilty as charged. Work is picking up. I have an incredible amount of work over the next 3 weeks. We joined Planet Fitness so we can shower and workout. It has actually been a lot of fun.

Bison vs Buffalo...

In the past three days we have put over twelve hundred miles on the mustang. That is approximately six to seven hours of driving every day - Packed up from Portland and drove to Spokane, West Yellowstone, Grand Tetons and eventually to Thermopolis. Not sure how we ended up here in Thermopolis.

Oh, I found Matt in Portland - if you did not already pick that up. He made lots of friends while I was gone. Yellowstone was amazing - Grand Tetons were 10 times better...... today we are headed North to Gillette, where a nice photographer booked a room for us.... Figure we will stop at the local Hot Spring Bath-house on the way out of town.... heard it is a big historical must-see site..... Last useless

fact you might need to know: A Continental Divide forms a border between two watersheds where water falling on one side of the line eventually travels to one ocean or body of water, and water on the other side travels to another ocean or body of water.... and Matt and I got to walk on it while we were in Yellowstone.

Spokane? Boise? Could mean a memory...

First off.... Portland, here I am!! On my way back to Portland.Sat next to a guy on the plane that is old chums with a mobster in the Philippines. He told me stories that were unbelievable - I do not even care if they were true - they were so entertaining, I have never been so entertained on a flight before.... He ate Macaroni and Cheese, only to find out they were cow entrails... and he saw a chicken rodeo in Wyoming... he went golfing on a Volcano in Bali. Memo sent me some new photos... !!!

Cow Harbor Day....

Worked with this guy in the city today - Mr. Potter. And he makes this crazy giant artwork from tracing models on canvas. Basically the model chooses different objects (rocks, seashells, ext) and lays them on the canvas in a way that is very particular.... it represents them.

He made ginger tea and a tomato salad that was to die for - and then traced me in blue sticky tape (on right)... and he read me his poetry, which is created for each canvas, based on the model's name. If I can get this right, my letters would be L O N D A R E W S... which of many words, one of them he says, spells Wanders.... perhaps it was the name that led me to wander so much. : )

Random note... Today is Cow Harbor Day. It is a celebration held in Northport Long Island which celebrates cows being shipped across the seas, into port, and onto steakhouse plates.... I have never seen so many little kids running around at knee height. I have been having dreams of sun, lots of empty land, millions of new places to see, the top down on the mustang. I want to get back to Portland. It's time to get back on the road!

Love that....

... Brian D. Nelson's portrait of me... is me..... cracking up.
Ha. He's a great guy - you should go check out his blog.

NY.... Ny.... ny

So after a mental breakdown (if you didn't catch that)
I managed to make it into NY alive....
It took five flights, over 20 hours of airtime,
and a night of "sleeping" in a room
that smelled like unfiltered cigarettes and AIDS.

I keep hoping that Matt is OK in Portland, I gave him $400 and a bunch of numbers
of people that he can stay with while I'm here in NY. But he doesn't drive and isn't used to be alone.... Lets all hope he has the time of his life, meets his soulmate and finds his way in life... oh Matt

Topic of Photography!!! I love Bob Coulter..... nuff said.

Whirlwind of a week....

First off, I have no idea how to start this entry - so much has happened since I wrote you last....

My life changed a lot at BurningMan
Matt's life changed a lot at BurningMan
I am going to be flying out to NYC this weekend
because I need some me-time
and my me-time can only be found in NY
Matt either has the choice to either stay here
in Portland at a local hostel for 10 days or
he can move back in with Teddy in NY......
.....I am not sure what he will be doing,
Of course, I am hoping he will stay on the roadtrip
but either way - Strange bunch of events, huh?

So BurningMan... Can you really say anything about a place that doesn't really exist? It is a city. Black Rock City (just put the sticker on my car). Imagine a city full of bars, with a post office, an internet cafe, a playground, a yoga school, a noodle shop, a dance school, a taco shop, a pancake house, an airport, a tea house, animal control, clubs, ninjas, couches, water slides, mutant vehicles......the place is insane. Everything is free - and everyone wants to help you - everyone respects everyone - and life is just full of art and hugs. I have never experienced anything like it before. With luck, hope, and an RV - perhaps I'll be able to attend next year, we'll see.

Matt got lost for two days, on a bike, in his underwear, in the desert (sounds like some kind of twiested nightmare, huh?) The people of BRC took care of him, gave him clothes, food, sunscreen, water, good stories, campfires - and eventually, through a computer system in center camp, we located eachother again. The man burnt early - they rebuilt the man, I talked to the guy who spent four months in the desert building art installations, we danced in a duststorm, and watched the sky burn with great friends ...... the week was madness - it's unable to be described - so lets just leave it at that.

Matt was so happy - he jumped on trampolines and ate tacos at the Boring Camp

Now we're in Portland. We did the Redwoods. We did the OR coast. We slept in a town where the Circle K was the place to be.... they rode horses to the Gas Station. It was awesome.

As for Portland, the photographer we're staying with, Jim, is lovely. He made us dinner and gave us our own little room with a deck! Which is where I am, typing this blog. It's pretty cold here, but I don't care, I love Portland. I want to live here someday.... the air is still fresh and the city is so full of music and life. This is such a great place to stay.......

So tonight's blog is going to end like this:
BurningMan changed a lot of things....
And it will be good to take some time off from the roadtrip
.... if only for awhile.

Burning Man 12:01am

So as of right now, Matt and I are in Carson City at a Budget Motel. He says, "You're going to get pregnant if you keep lying on that nasty comforter...." but it's comfy so I'm not going to listen. So we're headed towards Reno in about an hour. I have two shoots, which are direly needed moneywise. I am so broke planning for the festival that my bank account balance is $0.00 and I've put more money on my credit card in the last week than I have put on it in the last six months - it sucks a lot. But on the upside..... the mustang now has a bike rack with real bikes on it. We have our costumes and our food....and if the mustang makes it a few more hundred miles, we will have just about everything we need to make a week in the desert work....

We'll be driving into the festival at 12:01 am this morning, with all the crazy hardcore BM people - I feel like it's the only way to do it. Plus the heat here is a killer and it seems to make the most sense to set up at night......

Favorite Street Names...

"What do you do to keep busy while you drive?" ... great question!!! Since Matt doesn't drive (he is a product of the NYC subway system)... Sometimes I will do a straight eight hours.... ... it is a long time, so I have to find things on the road to keep my attention. Like ROADS! I love the name of roads.... here is a great list of names to remember:

• Jay Day Hay Way
• Wimble Road
• Fart Road (yes, I giggled like I was five)
• What Road
• Nothingness Lane

These are roads you can find just about anywhere:

• Park Street
• Frontage Road
• Main Street
  

Most overused word in a road name?

• Lake

Why do you need to know this? I'm not sure but this is how I live day to day - street names.

Drunken Saloon

Went out drinking at the oldest Saloon in California last night. Matt and I sang very bad karakoke..... .....on a stage..... ..... in front of a room full of people.... ..... and they all square-danced!!!! 

 Anyways, we're back in Yosemite for the day, wading in rivers full of fool's gold and hiking through woods - Headed to Reno soon with all the other Burners..... ooooh, speaking of Burners, Matt and I hung out at the house with the cutest lesbian couple after a shoot yesterday and they told us all about Burning Man and showed us their costumes.... they also offered to let us stay at their camp. 

Sacramento

Seriously, I worked with the most flattering photographer this morning - He paid for a hotel for Matt and I for two nights, showed up with a London Andrews poster to sign, gave us both a gas card and a Denny's card. As for right now, Matt and I are sewing costumes for Burning Man - I am trying to do a checklist for the festival. Tickets have been purchased. We are headed back to Yosemite for a few days (that place is just magical... it will be good to go back).....we're then going to head up to Reno on Sunday.

 Looking over the "things to get for Burning Man" list, I am a bit freaked out (who wouldn't be, the necessities for this trip are to help you survive the desert) - I worry about the mustang, I don't want it to drag on the ground... which it very well might. According to the BM website, they recommend 1.5 gallons a water each day for every person... not sure how the car is going to cart 24 gallons of water. We can't bring a stove, because there is just no room - so it's all dry foods and things. Matt got some fabric and he's putting together this completely white outfit Gandalf-lord-of-the-rings cloak - Matthew has never sewn a thing in his life, but right now he is on the floor of Motel 6, making his masterpiece. 

I am camping in Yosemite,

...and how wrong is it, that they have internet in the woods? Haha.... even worse, how wrong is it that I am I using that internet in the woods. So Matt and I bought half the gear that we need for Burning Man. A tent, a lantern, and some other stuff.... it's great that camping gear can translate anywhere. Headed into Yosemite this morning - and I was like, "Oooh look, lets camp" So we grabbed hot dogs, some marshmellows, goldfish crackers...... Struggled with the tent for awhile. Went and sifted for gold in the river.... Matt took off to go swim with French students and I headed back to camp to work on emails. I am now writing a blog and sippin on a bottle of California wine (given to me by such a gracious photographer in San Jose) - Life is so good. Backing up a bit - spent the last two days in San Fran. Matt both took these photos and edited them himself (with a shirt over his head, in the car, blocking out all the light) - so I'll post those here.... Although our stay was brief...... the city was magical - and it's easy to understand why all my east coast friends have relocated to the city on the bay...... this is me at the palace of Fine Arts....

Why don't you post more photos on here?

I keep getting emails about this - the answer is easy
My family, friends, and people who I don't want to see me naked
read this blog often.... : )

But I will try to post more photos of un-nakedness as I go.
There have been some kickass shoots in the past two weeks....
.... like kick your ass, holy hell, no way, that's fucking awesome - work.
x0
Lo

Wash out in Santa Barbara

Shoot in Malibu shoot went well. The photographer picked a cute little park in the mountains. Matt wanted to help out (he very rarely does). He climbed some trees to pose as our lookout - unfortunately, suprise suprise.... he fell asleep.... or he was meditating or something because the next thing I knew I was standing there waving-a-half-naked-Hello to a girl on a horse. She waved back but I could feel that ewwww-you're-naked stare.

It's 9am. Just woke up...

... from a dream - See, I am driving my car and all of a sudden, there's this gigantic hill in front of me - I cannot see the top of it..... and it sucks, because I need to get to the otherside..... so I put my foot to the floor and pretend that it is a rollercoaster. "I'm not in my car, I'm on a rollercoaster," I say.....the car chuggs upward, everything is good, everything is awesome - Things change quickly though - from the new perspective I see the road is no longer slanting up..... No no no. It is going up and over my head.... like a big cement wave crashing upon itself.... The car is going too fast. The car is going to flip over..... I am in slow motion, upside-down, I see cement..... and I wake up..... 

 ....... just had that dream now..... Years ago, that same dream was a nightly occurrence...... (The catalyst for my terribly pointless fear of hills) Took awhile but eventually I realized that the only time that dream Is when I feel out of control of my life. Used to be boyfriends, jobs, sexual trauma - things like that would set it off.

It is crazy what one-single-popped-tire will do to your mindstate.... huh? 

So the mustang popped it's first tire for the trip... Matt and I were driving to my next shoot, Got lost (as is the trend for LA these days)... ... pulled over in Santa Monica, parked the car, asked some people for directions, got back in the car and.. *thump thump thump* Luckily a homeless man showed up and helped us. I was skeptical at first. But he jacked up the car, put on the donut. He was telling us about how he travels the US on a universal $300 greyhound ticket.... and how he gets medical marjauna because he has cancer. He did not want his family to go into medical debt so instead of getting chemo like they wanted. He bought a greyhound ticket and decided to go on a final roadtrip. We all sat on the beach in Santa Monica for a few hours. We are on different roadtrips but for some of the same reasons. We all want to feel alive, regardless to how much time we have here.

Brooks

It's poppin....(what's poppin?) It's poppin...

My lipgloss is cool. My lipgloss is poppin I'm standing at the locker and all the boys keep stoppin.... We shouldn't admit to this, but that crazy-annoying-Lipgloss song by Lil Mama.... has become the theme song for this roadtrip. It doesn't matter what we do - it all comes back to poppin lipgloss... I'm telling you. We're poppin, you're poppin, it's poppin; we ain't frontin. Burnt out. LA is burning us out big-time. We shoot from 10am-9pm on most days and everyone we work with is fucking amazing... just amazing. How many amazing people can you fit into a single week and still entertain? Not gonna lie - the photographer who cancelled this morning... it was so needed... So we're at Panera's and Matt is meditating (he got a jaywalking ticket earlier today and he needs to listen to The Secret on his Ipod for awhile) and I am trying to catch up with work, which is proving itself nearly impossible at this point. Shot a clothing line for Demongirlclothing the other day - I am going to send them a christmas card - they were all so cute. And Raven's Laughter rehabilitates wild birds - there is an actual live raven in his kitchen. Shooting at his place was madness, tellatubbie girls and makeup artistry, the guy has real talent and real passion, I love that... a salt water pool and Applebees. Turning around on route 14, cops going crazy on people... a loud policeman yelling "Great Idea you fucking Dumbass" into his speaker was pretty entertaining. Yesterday I was dressed up like an Aqua CareBear and the photographer was telling me to lick my nipples - and that was just weird. CareBears and Nipples - at least to me - don't mesh too well. Photoshoot ended early.... I was a little disturbed. A photographer I spoke to last night wrote me with this great piece of advice "just laugh at any photographers who are sexually frusterated and miserable."

Busy busy

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed looking at this blog..... trying to sum up a few days in just a few words. It's hard. Plus I think I have sunscreen in my eye... and that doesn't make things any easier..... So lets see

Tucson:
Matt and I stayed with a photographer and his wife....
....this little old nudist guy.... with big specticals
made us homemade apple pie for dinner.
Entertained us with stories about how his home
got raided by the police, once, because they were nudists
... and how back in the day, he cooked for big-time celbs
at resorts in the mountains of Vermont.
He owned a donut shop and was justice of the peace.

San Diego:
Broke out our sleeping bags and slept on green army cots
While in San Diego -
Matt and I made it to the Zoo -
We discovered an animal called a Tapir....
Which would make a great poke-mon character....
Look it up!
Yesterday we went to Black's Beach for a nudie
shoot on a nudie beach.

Photographer of the day - gave me one of his Polaroid
cameras.... I am all excited to go buy some film.


Yesterday I shot with the Vic Huber who
does all of the GMC car ads.....
You should SEE this office - whoa.
He shoots sexy cars by day
and sexy women by night for his book.

Seventy Second Post

I'm sitting in a laundromat watching Matt wash our clothes....Quarters like a gamblin man.... Ding Ding. Eight loads of laundry - bing bing, whirl whirl.

To tell you the truth - we're pretty sure most of the stuff is clean - but it's gotten to the point where every last article of clothing reeks..... as does the car, right now (we are specifically blaming it on Vegas which consists of stale cigars) So we're just dousing everything with downy and hoping the car will smell better in the morning.

Currently, we're in Arizona, hanging out in Phoenix. I've managed to catch myself up with booking .. Taking that week off for Burning Man gave me that extra week that I need to get back on track. Photographers are no longer replying with, "I've already booked my models for this month, perhaps next time."

We're headed to San Diego - it will be my first time in Cali, and I am fucking ecstatic!!!! There is such a killer line-up of photographers.

It's so completely ON...

.... just

bought

Matt

and

I

tickets

to

Burning

Fucking

Man...

.....
and that
is all
I need
to say
about
that.

Heck Yes! : )