Thursday, May 31, 2007

Cowboys, Condos, and RainStorms.

When I started this trip.... I shot with a photographer in Maryland. He was a hobbiest, shooting on weekends.... His fulltime job is racing horses, running them from 3am-10am for training, he breaks them in. He lived on a horse farm in Montana. He is bad-ass kind of cool...  has piles of those funny little hats that you see people wear at the Derby's on TV.

When he tossed me the keys to his winter Condo in New Orleans, he said, "There is a giant bridge, one of the longest in the US, built across a lake on your way into Lousisiana.... it's really neat," Yea - Neat my ass!... Sky opened up right before the the bridge, lightning made it look like daylight, the gods made the ground shake, rain started pouring gallons of water all over every inch of my car.....Thought my windshield was going to bust from the shear force of how much rain was hitting it... Heavy, pounding, angry. Convertible top started leaking. I was more scared than I have been in my life. Couldn't see the road, my windshield wipers couldn't remove the rain before it was back again, couldn't stop because I was on a bridge, everyone was trying to pull over, dodging cars, my wheels were skidding across the water and I kept losing control..... I was sure I was going to die. That went on for over 40 minutes...... Not even joking...... I was so scared I started crying, and then realized that no one else was going to drive me car for me - so I stopped crying, pretended that I knew what I was doing, and just drove.... it was insane.

Point is, although really shook up, I did make it to the condo alive. It's a really nice place.... has a spiral staircase and a princess room, which I've recently taken over. All my stuff has been unloaded for the next four days.... and I Just got off the phone with my photographer for Saturday, he gave me a heads up on some local places to check out to get some grub. Really want to try some crawfish.... they look really difficult and hard to eat.... but I've heard they're good, so I'm out to give them a try.....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

And then this giant bomb went off....

Not sure about New Orleans, because I haven't made it there yet. But Gulfport Mississippi looks like a nuclear bomb was dropped on it. Katrina did a number on this place, there are no stop lights - wires hanging from more wires. The beach is bare, all the gas stations/food places/casinos that were on the beach are just giant piles of rubble. Hotel/Restaurant signs are scattered all over the place, vacant lots on every block.... yesterday I was walking across the road - to the beach. And I walked right through someone's kitchen. They had green tiled floor. There are pools full of random junk and concrete... It's eerie.... the entire town is missing portions of their houses, most are vacant or under heavy construction.

The beach is really quiet.

Some would say that this place is really depressing, but I am just going to say that I enjoy walking down a white sandy beach. Without the giant shadows of a million looming condos over me, it's almost like I'm on a deserted island after the apocolypse...... I bought some groceries inland yesterday (since there aren't really any restaurants in Biloxi anymore, well other than McDonald's which rebuilt itself over night....but they are like rats, they can rebuild anywhere).... but I am currently living off fruit cups, tostadoes, and light beer.... it's a delicious way of life.

Bought my ticket for Bonnaroo yesterday.... so I am headed to the music festival in a few weeks. A small roadtrip, amidst my already long roadtrip. Should be good if I can learn how to sleep in a car (I suck at sleeping anywhere other than a flat, cushy surface.... if this means that I will have to find an RV to crash in, I will just have to do that...)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mobile, AL

Didn't have any work for Tallahassee or Pensacola, so I decided to keep driving.... "Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel....." Music has been mostly 60's rock this month - Decided to stop here in Mobile AL.... it is pretty here. Clean and quiet. Staying about 20 minutes from the Gulf, tonight I will go check out the city..... small cites are great because they are easy to park in and traffic is nearly non-existant.

Right now I am sitting outside, on the sidewalk of a Motel 8, stealing their wireless.... Oh yes, I admit, I completely ghetto-fied. My problem is that I am staying at a Motel 6 tonight..... and more than often, Motel 6 still does not do the "wireless-internet-thing" They are the ultimate cheap-o's of the industry....

Just this morning, I decided that I really want to travel to the Bonnaroo music festival with my boyfriend  (Decemberists are playing, so are the Police and all these other great bands...). BUT IF I decide to do the festival..... (and I still have two more days to decide). I need to book all of TX and New Mexico between today and Jun 13th - or I will fall behind on my trip. I am not sure if this is possible.... that is so much work in front of the computer, just emailing and booking.... If I decide to do that, I will have to glue my butt to this Super 8 parking lot for the next 48 hours - emailing and booking.

I hope it works out.
Minus the incredibly long drive from Northport to TN,
I really do want to go....

Friday, May 25, 2007

No work for the next 5 days....

How much does that suck? Nothing for Tallahassee, Pensacola, or Mobile.
So I am basically just sitting in these cities, doing nothing all day -
Sure I will check out the state capital and some beaches,
but after a day or two, I miss working with people
- not the camera so much - although that's fun too
But I just miss talking to people about photography
and hearing all their crazy life stories
Creativity keeps my brain moving, you know....

I normally drive with my left foot on the dash or out the window..... It's just more comfortable like that - but a few months ago, I saw that movie, the Grindhouse Massacre, and I keep getting flashbacks of that girl's leg flying off in the car crash..... freaks me out. Now I keep both feet inside the car....

Saw a pasture full of goats today - it was silly.

Drove to Tallahassee this morning..... don't like it much here.....
Driving here, all the brush was on fire.....
so the city itself is covered in a thick haze
Everything smells like pine-wood on a campfire.
Plus there are these bugs called Love-Bugs
(perhaps that's just a nickname)
but they only come out for a week every year
and they smush themselves all over your windshield
So much so, that you can no longer drive,
Literally, you cannot see the road, because your car is covered in bug goo.

A guy at the gas station told me to go out and buy shower cleaner
"and they wipe right off"

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The hobbiest...

Many photographers are hobbiests -
That means that they don't mind
putting money down for models
- because photography is their 'fun-time'
Just like some guys buy motorcycles or boats.
Other guys will buy a bunch of photo-gear
and buy themselves some photoshop
They will just go to town with it.

But just because they are hobbiests -
- that doesn't mean that they only snap pictures as a hobby.
I've met guys who collect the baseball hats of celebs
They collect bobbleheads, pictures of Marilyn Monroe,
The paint dolls, they own every copy of the marvel comics
They can tell you about every country they've visited
They are part of the fire-department - but as a hobby.
Some collect plants.... I work with a guy in Houston
He collects exotic plants from all over the world.
He literally lives in a jungle of exotic flowers.
There are a lot of photographer who collect car stuff
and then they put models in front of their car stuff.
It's a mixing of many hobbies, I suppose.

Right now I am staying with Lynn....
and when he isn't off spending his money
on beautiful models.... he is collecting and building all this:

~He handpaints Birdhouses

~Collects Salt and Pepper Shakers

~Collects Puppets! (See the Talaban one!?)

~Brewery Mugs

~Photography and books

He also collects german beerstien, antique cameras, native american art, oriental art (there is an entire room), he travels to take photos of balloon festivals, he collects books on history and travel, he also paints in miniture soldiers which he is currently running into the house to show me..... haha... he's so funny. Anyways, the hobbiest shooters - are usually plugged into other outlets as well..... and I think it's fun to see what makes a person that particular person.


Ok, so you know how you live in a town?
Or perhaps it is a city?
I'm not really sure where you live, but anyways,
But in your town/city, you probably have
a Wendy's, a McDonald's, or a Burger King.
Up and down your highways,
you probably have a few bulletin boards which
advertise things like car rentals,
hotels, and geico commericals......
But you don't really pay much attention to them..
....because they've been around for awhile
You're just used to seeing them.

Did you know that the entire US is just full of
Wendy's, McDonald's and Burger Kings?
Circuit Cities, Outbacks, Days Inn, Verizon Wireless,
, Red Carpet Inns, Enterprise.
Full of grease, trans-fats,
diesel, dollar signs, and shitty cars?
You think it's just here and there,
but seriously, it-is-everywhere.

I drive.... and sometimes I feel sick.
There will be acres and acres of trees,
run down by bulldozers
For a Sign that says, "Got Milk?"
or "Adult Novelties, Turn Left and Jerk it"
It is just shitty.

I wish I lived back in the 50's and 60's.....
when every city had it's own culture
It's own little habitat.
If you are thinking about doing a roadtrip,
right now I would tell you to
pick a small town, a small state, something
untouched like Vermont or Maine
Because every city you drive through,
is just another city... just like your own.
What state am I in? I keep forgetting

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Headed to Tampa....

I've been trying to find work in Jacksonville, but there isn't anything here. So I am packing up and moving onto Tampa.... I have a lingerie shoot for a catalouge tomorrow and I'm wrestling on Thursday.

My aunt took me shopping at a bunch of stripper stores today - Not sure if that qualifies as 'weird' or 'cool'....  I did find some really great new stuff for photos.... shiny, fun patterned, classy stuff that strippers would probably never wear (covers too much skin).... but the outfits are awesome. Since I've started this trip - I've easily shot in all my wardrobe about 80-90 times. Any time I can add something new to the mix, I get excited to take photos again - because it means a new look, with new clothes, and completely new images.

I'm going to be staying with a photographer whom I consider more a friend. He lives in Bradenton, FL (between Tampa and Sarasota).... He took this photo in January on a nude beach in Miami. We had 40 very, naked men on the beach watching the shoot - first/last time I've been around that many naked people at the same time. One guy was holding a sombraro over himself.... I still look back on that and giggle. Perhaps you'll remember the photographer's story from MM. He got stung by a man-of-war and kept shooting..... that's the actual photo of the man-of-war. Haha. He traveled all the way down to Miami to work with me a few months ago. He's a good guy and he's taking me out to show me the town a bit. So far, I've been to Tampa six times since I started modeling - once for fetishcon, but I've never really got to see much of the city.....

Monday, May 21, 2007

No better post-name, FUCKING PUGS.... ugh!

I do not like dogs.... especially the yippity yappin, jump, lick, smell a butt, bark, wet nosed, white hair all over my dark clothes.... they blink and they drool, they steal your shoes. They slime everything in a thick slug of goo. They want your attention, they want you to pet their residue dog hair. They want you to smell like them, nasty wet dog grossness..... It's just eww. I am sorry if I offend any of my dog-loving readers.... but....

Give me a kitty. I like kitties. Hug a kitty.... love a kitty....

So Jacksonville, FL. I am staying with my aunt and we went to the beach today....

It's a comfy place to crash for a few days, minus all these Pug-dogs.... They are currently fighting over a talking cheeseburger in the livingroom. In my head I see myself tossing each Pug across the room, they fly through the air tumbling acrobatically, they do tricks while they drool, and they bounce off the walls like little squeaky toys. Squeak squeak squeak, all three of them....

Got to hang out with Cyklop Bunny yesterday - he's so awesome. He let me blow bubbles in his truck and gave me some free molds of his new dirty soap collection (see attached photo... ha!) AND he gave me the best present EVER - an Atlas! So now I know where I am going without pulling over and stealing bandwith from the Burbs. Yay! Excuse my cheeziness but he's the bomb-diggity... haha, there is just no other way to describe that man. Remember that you can't catch fish without Jesus on your side.... ha.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Alison Krauss!? Yesss....

Just talked to the photographer who I am working with tomorrow afternoon - and he has an extra ticket to see Alison Krauss tonight in Atlanta! Yay! He offered it to me and we're going to the concert around 6ish. Get an early dinner, spend the evening stomping around to bluegrass .... Alison's stuff is so lovely. Haven't listened to her new stuff that lets hope she pulls out some of the old Union Station.... she rocked that album so wonderfully.

Backing up a bit, I shot with Dennis from 2:30-7:30pm the other night. It was a really long shoot but we were having such a great time that neither of us really noticed.... The guy's lighting is outrageous!! He has tons of the same camera equiptment that I see all the time, yet somehow someway - he gets killer photos like these...... how magazine-zine is that?

This morning was the first time that I've ever traveled without any directions or maps or anything.... I just kind of guessed my way along the interstates and ended up right where I wanted to be.... I figured I wanted to head East and then North, and hoping for signs saying Marietta. It panned out as planned....

Figure after the shoot tomorrow, I will head down to visit the Cykops Bunny somewhere, maybe get dinner or something... and then try to high-tail it down to Valdosta....
As soon as I get to FL, the rest of the trip to Houston will be easy easy.

Can't wait for the concert now! : )
I have something fun to do tonight!!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Smith Mountain Lake

Speedy post - Lets do it....

Arose at Scott's shining brightly
Clean skin rubbed pink from a hot shower
Ready to take on Smith Mountain Lake
(my next stop along the map)

A photographer, whom I couldn't shoot with on the trip, really wanted me to enjoy my time in South Virginia..... Without asking and without strings attached, he booked lovely hotel room for me at the Westlake Waterfront Inn on Smith Mountain Lake. IT WAS FUCKING GORGEOUS! By far my most enjoyable day on this trip - The ride in was sunny, the top was down, Counting Crows was loud and sang until I nearly passed out on the wheel.... it was awesome..... Let me tell you. Not the passing out part, but all the rest of it.

Two photographers trekked out to my little middle -of- nowhere. We shot both indoors and by the lake, perhaps, they will share some photos for the blog. We'll see.

Went out to dinner with my last photographer of the day..... He attended that rodeo that Borat visited in his recent film, the rodeo where he sang that horrid anthem. Great piece of information, don't you think? The photographer thought that Borat should have been killed on the spot.... because making fun of our country is wrong. I don't know about you but, personally, I think that film was brilliant.... especially the part where he took his bag of poop to the dinner table. Oh oh oh, see!? I'm giggling now and people are staring at me....

He also thinks women shouldn't be in the military..... because we need to be home making babies - It was then, that I realized, that I had just hit 'the south'.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Painful drive to Roanoke...

Yea, so all the drinking at Lauren's place almost killed me.... When I did reach Roanoke around Noon, I climbed into a Panera's booth and sat there for five hours, just working and trying not to move.

Later that night, when things were better - I got all prettied up and shot with Scott and Mr. Biddle... (Don't you just love that name? It's kind of like Mr. Bean, except it's Mr. Biddle!) They shot me as a Duo, taking turns. They admitted that normally neither of them pay models..... but they wanted to help contribute to my trip, which I thought was just lovely and appreciated - As for the photos, they came out really amazing. I am still sorting through Mr. Biddle's work... but did make it through Scott's photos this morning. One of his images was showcased on OMP (Yay Scott!)... In the meantime, here is a photo of Mr. Biddle's Love Bird and I.... : )

FYI to travelers: No coon dogs to mention, but alas Motel 6 also does not exist in Lynchburg, VA... always a sad realization for a low-budget traveler....

Luckily, Scott, the photographer.... offered me a spare room at his place. He is one of those guys who likes having another photographer around - because he doesn't want a model saying that anything happened at a shoot. Scott is still taking very small photography steps..... He likes to kind-of intern under other photographers, to learn their lighting and their shooting habits. It's a great idea for someone starting out. He is also a networking addict, traveling to Meet and Greets (he was actually headed to the DC Meet and Greet this weekend...) and caravaning a bunch of people to and from the events.

I really liked waking up at his place....
There was sun coming through the drapes
The house felt like a big warm hug....
.... Southern Virginia is one of the prettiest places I've even been
If you live here, never move.

To Beer or not to Beer?

Being heavily intoxicated....
May be an incredible catalyst for getting laid
It is also wonderful for when you see live music.
Ride horses, jump rope, and sing funny songs...
But being heavily intoxicated
... does not really work the best for modeling

Two days ago, well three now because it's past midnight... I was in Raleigh, NC - Shooting with KC. This is a snapshot of his wonderful, almost SoHo type studio. All brick and unfinished walls and things. Absolutely lovely. The mural was done by one of his friends.

I believe the story is that KC locked the man in the studio with a case of beer and some wine. Returning the next morning, this wonderful wall of black and white movement had been created. Perhaps beer is also a great catalyst for art (although not modeling).... In college most of my friends created their best work while they were either ridiculously high or wasted.

After shooting with KC, I headed over to a very talented female photographer's place. Her name's Lauren, she shoots film.... her black and whites are deliciously yummy. In return for shooting with her - I was getting a free place to crash for the night. When KC's phone rang and he said to the person on the other line, "You better come by, I have two bottles of wine here for you."... I should have known that I would be running around Lauren's house all night.... totally naked, chasing a just as naked soon-to-be soccer mom, toting a six pack of beer, with those fake eyelashes barely holding on.

Normally shoots wouldn't work like that - Getting drunk at a regular shoot is both unprofessional and dangerous (in my opinion, it sets you up for a lot of nasty situations as well) - but I think Lauren's shoots are supposed to be just wild, crazy, drinking madness.....

There is so much that I would love to tell you about that night
..... if I could remember it...... but I can't.
What I do know, is that when I rolled over in the morning,
they were cracking beer open at 8am...
As for the images, I can only hope that whatever we shot comes out pretty
that Lauren made some magic happen
and that I remembered to suck in my tummy.....

Never been at a shoot while intoxicated
- and I don't think I will be doing it again anytime soon
Somehow I lost KC's money,
I had to pull over and puke about 4 times on my way to Roanoke
and I nearly hit a wild turkey - it could have been tragic.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Durham, NC and Coon Dogs...

So when I arrived at my Motel 6 address in Durham, NC - let me describe what I saw there: What I saw was an acre of land, hosting of a nest of dumpy-broken down trailers. Scattered around these trailers were a various assortment of car parts - From the looks of it, they seemed to be using the car parts as lawn ornaments? Amidst these slightly odd choice of decorations - Sat an unshaven man, wearing a stained wifebeater, gut poppin out, guzzling a Budweiser. His chair was surrounded by about fifteen empty Bud cans and his four mangy coon dogs.... I wish I had snapped a picture... I want to kick myself for not thinking to do it...

Motel 6 doesn't exist in Durham....

So I broke out my neat little GPS thing that my younger brother bought me for my last birthday (I don't use it often because it has this Loud British lady who tell me to Turn Left, Turn Right, Turn Left. Very demanding, always talking over my roadtrip tunes). The GPS screen gave me lots of tiny hotel icons to choose from. Alas, I ended up at the hotel right nextdoor to my next photographer. It is the first time I've stayed in a really nice hotel since I have been on the road - they gave me SIX towels. Six. You know you are at a fancy place when they give you six towels and the beds smell like a Caribbean island full of tropical flowers. I cranked the heat, got naked, and had a beach party!!!

The photographer in Durham is in the brick business. So he travels all over the US, shooting photo after photo of brick buildings (Schools, Libraries, ect)........ He said it gets pretty boring at times - I believe him.

Although he is very new to shooting models, I just really enjoyed how prepared and eager he was to shoot - photography magazines were all over the table. Before I had arrived, he had already picked out images that inspired him. Most impressive aspect of the shoot? - He had camera gear that I've never seen before! Did you know that there are diffusing flashes with removable color slips? You can diffuse your flash with a hint of color!! Fantastic contraption for someone on the-go...

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Classic Pin-Up

This classy old-Hollywood photo is all thanks to JD Boswell and Anastasia Summers (MUA)....
What an amazing shoot....
I expect everyone to purchase the calender when it comes out
You can send it to people for Christmas!!
You could even send it to ME for Christmas!!
I won't complain about the pretty girls in it.... : )

Dear GWC's....

"Dear GWC's...... I love you guys,
Many of you are my good friends....
You are what allows me to travel the US
but when you are shooting me
Please do not zoom in on my crotch
- If I had a camera, I would not zoom in on your crotch
- Just because you have a camera, you should not zoom in on mine.
This is called a mutual respect

It makes me uncomfortable
and it also, makes me want to throw
your camera against a wall
jump on it a lot
light it on fire
and then dance around it

If you need a crotch shot,
head to photoshop
choose the cropping tool
and crop away!
If you shoot RAW images, Just think!
You could make a 4 foot wall hanging
..... of just my crotch!!
You could give it to your Mom for Mother's Day!!
Wouldn't that be awesome!!
Thanks for your kindness
and understanding in this matter.
Lots of Love,

But seriously, do you think I don't notice?
I am staring straight at your camera....
It's rude.....

Alright, now that I have gotten that off my chest....'s time to get driving!!!!
See you in North Carolina!!

Monday, May 7, 2007

The World's Got a Fever....

Cool name for a post, eh? It doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm going to talk about.... but while driving from Baltimore to Williamsburg.... I had tons of stuff to think about. And somehow, I started thinking about how cozy and warm it was with the top down, which led me to think briefly about global warming, which led to the world being 'sick' with pollution, which made me think about how .....The World has a Fever. I like it. Someone turn it into a song and give me some props in the credits.

I just googled the phrase "World's got a fever" and this is what it came up with: - If the world has a fever, where are we going to put the thermometer? Quickly bring me a Democrat!!

So for the first time, on this trip - I find myself in a hotel where my computer cannot pick up a wireless signal. Usually my laptop is a clepto wireless machine!! - It can pocket a signal from a quarter mile away!! But this time I've been forced to visit a local Panera's (oh no!) to get my work done. I think I've been sitting here for about four hours now... people are giving me funny looks and the lady passing out free Cinnamon bread to the other tables has begun to skip me (Cinnamon Nazi biz-otch!).

Yesterday I shot with a talented guy with cool sneakers.... Wish I could tell you about the amazing project he's working on, but I am pretty sure it's top secret. So you'll just have to wait until the coffeetable book comes out. : )

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Williamsburg and racing...

Kick it! So Williamsburg.... here I am!
I think I mentioned to many of you and on MM and OMP, that I was having a lot of trouble finding a place to stay in VA - both because of the NASCAR race this weekend and the fact that the Queen of England is touring the state of Virginia in celebration of the 400 years of Jamestown. When I found out about the race, I swore a lot and stomped around the house using the F-word many times (... In effect of that, I promise to say some hail mary's or something)...... and I also sent out a notice through myspace, asking if anyone could help me out or knew of any places that I could stay. A guy named Alfred - just like the butler in Batman - wrote me back, mentioning that him and a bunch of racing fans were headed down to Williamsburg to watch the race at Richmond. If I wanted it, they had a hotel room for me and an extra ticket for Friday's race (I swear, half the people I meet are just the coolest mother-fuckers out there... ooops! Another hail mary.... Damn!)...... SO after checking him out and grilling him with questions and emails, turns out that Alfred is just an incredibly stand-up person.... and now I sit, here in Williamsburg, in a great hotel, without the stress of trying to figure out a place to crash for the night..... Mr. Alfred, if you are reading thing - Thank you so much so helping me out... this was really awesome and I had an outstanding time (from what I can remember of it....ha).

When I was younger my dad used to bring my brother and I to some of the races - He was obsessive with NASCAR, traveled to all kinds of tracks with campers and big purple rented buses. They would buy a bunch of beer and smoke lots of weed. He was an Earnhart fan-till-the-end. When Dale died, Dad was so crushed that he locked himself in his bedroom and couldn't go to work for a week. It was crazy - like a little kid losing their biggest hero or something. Anyways, so yesterday afternoon I got to go to my first race at Richmond. I haven't been to a race since I was about 10, I think. And last time I went, I spent most of the time under the stands trying to find cool beer coozies to bring home...... haha..... I was never big on the races.

Last night was a really great experiance though. Met everyone at the bus at 3:30pm (Richmond, as you know, is held under the lights)..... the bus was packed with the redneck-type race fans. The kind who sport their favorite driver t-shirts, with their matching driver's hats, their favorite driver's posters - They are ready to get wasted, ready to watch fast cars, ready to get wasted, and then scream really loudly.... while being wasted.

There were jello shots on the bus, I hung out with Alfred.... One of the guys ..... bought me a JR #8 hat!!!

Anways, we tailgated, I ate a hotdog, introduced myself to everyone so that the party would be like a family get-together. Met a guy with a turkey on his head. I did not get a photo. I will regret that for the rest of my life, oh well. Eventually the race started. We were in the nose-bleed seats..... and when the helicopters flew by, we were at eye level... it was fantastic! From half a mile up, the cars looked like they were doing 60 miles an hr so I decided to walk all the way down to the bottom to see if I could see the drivers as they drove by...... Haha. Yeaaaa, 60 my ass, I couldn't even see the car.....

Woke up this morning, cursing myself for being alive. God I felt crap. - I am such a wimpy drinker these days.

Even half dead, I pulled myself together with some string and some make-up. Sid, my photographer of the day, traveled all the way from Fredricksburg, VA to work with me, which is about two hours from where I am staying..... He works at a jail and has a great habit of breaking out with very random lines from movies and television sitcoms..... he'd be talking, I'd be listening, he'd be talking and all of a sudden would burst out with something like the ".....Oh Gilligan, the Skipper too, the Millionaire, and his Wife!!! The Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle." all set to a theme song voice.....

Tomorrow is Newport News, VA
This is one of the photographers that I am lined up for working with...
You can check out his work: He writes me:
"I kid you not. I have been longing to work with you.... I feel like a freshman who just got invited to the senior prom by the hottest girl in school....Oh joy!"

Friday, May 4, 2007

Headed to Williamsburg... (not Richmond)

So I decided to edit this post since my original entry was written slighty sideways, head on a pillow, typing one handed, barely making any sense at all.......

The not-so-hidden-meaning of that entry was: Holy-shit-I-am-tired!!

But moving on:

So first off, quoting myself - The Cowboy:
"Shot with a cowboy yesterday
He randomly gave me the keys to his condo in New Orleans
He breaks in race horses and trains them for a living.
Half are in Maryland and the other half are in Louisiana.
When he was fifteen years old, he hitched a train headed north
and wrangled horses in Montana."

Basically, that part explains itself. I went to shoot with a cowboy, who lives in a nice country home in MD with his little dog, Scotty. In casual conversation - he inquired about the cross-country trip, "Where you headed?" Went down the roster, mentioned New Orleans.... "New Orleans can be scary," he left the room and returned with a spare set of keys and some simple directions. "I'd like to have you stay at my condo while you're there, it's in a good neighborhood, there's a security guard at night - I will feel better knowing that you're safe. Also if you want to relax, there's a hot-tub and a pool - you'll have the entire place to yourself. When you're finished.... just lock it up, throw the keys in this self-addressed envelope, and send them back to me." Is that cool, or what? He kindly asked me not to trash the place and not to throw any big parties..... haha. On top of being really cool - he also talented as a photographer....... Still shooting film, of course, like any self respecting Cowboy would do. : )

He was a Good Cowboy
But according to the world wide web, there are Bad Cowboys too.
If you want to shoot some down, you can go here.

The New Shooter!
Then, later that night, I took on a last minute shoot - It was literally maybe four emails sent on MM - and we were booked. It was his first nude shoot.... which was really awesome. I always feel so honored when I get to be the first. It's like sex, you just never forget your first nude model, haha....

What is all this talk about "Roanoke.... "

Well, if you take a little look at my road-trip map - my next cites are VA Beach, Raleigh, and Charlotte. I didn't update on here but - I removed Charlotte...... I was having the worst time booking it.....In the meantime, I kept getting these emails from people in South Virginia asking me to take my trip up there, Roanoke. So I checked it out. Just like Raleigh to Charlotte, it's only a three hour trip - and there are many more photographers in that area. So we'll see how that goes.

The Pin-Up Shoot.....was FUCKING AWESOME. It was a shoot for a 2008 calender which will be coming out in a few months. The proceeds go to help the families of the soldiers who fight overseas..... it's a really great idea and when the calender comes out, I really do hope that you toss the Walmart calender and tack me on your wall. They will be 14.95, I think.

Also, at that shoot I got to hang out with Miss Eve Laurence. She is currenly a porn-star with a husband overseas. She was - supporting 'The Cause' with her un-supported boobies. : )

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Ida the asteroid....

Shot with a photographer a few days ago, an Astronomer, toting his film camera and lovin' it...... two days later, I still feel the need to update on him. Partly, because he was so nerdy and cute. But mostly, because the story of how he came to name his cat amused me - I love that it is so in-tune with his being an Astronomer. Since there was no-way-in-hell, I could possible repeat his cat-naming tale - I wrote him for help and below is the email he sent (above is photo of Ida - not the cat, silly; the asteroid).

" Ok, here's the cat story, but you have to attribute it to "some photographer" that you shot with - not just me. Anyway, the first asteroid that was discovered to have a moon (ie, it had another asteroid orbiting it), was named Ida and the moon was named Dactyl. Kind of amazingly, this was discovered in 1993. Anyway, my cat has extra toes which is a mutation called polydactylism. So I connected that back back to the moon named Dactyl (polydactylism).... so the cat got named Ida. It's really a nerdy story. To take things even further, the Linux server that serves some of my web pages and email is called dactyl"

Come on - I know someone out there just giggled!.... That has to be the cutest, nerdiest, most endearing name for a cat with too many toes... ever to be named!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Accosted by a Nanny....

Quite Ironic that I wrote that post yesterday -
Because an hour later, I was being thrown right into
the pit with a photographer and his insane Nanny Wife...

I rightfully Title this story:

Ready - Set - Here we go.

Yesterday I show up to a shoot - Photographer resembles a 300lb, overweight, Kurt Russel. We do the usual dance of introductions and start discussing the what we're going to work on. From initial conversation, I can tell he is a bit pervvy but harmless enough (most common breed - like a splinter in your foot - annoying but not life threatening).

20 minutes in I ask, "So what do you do full time?" He replies, "I own three businesses - one is financing, the other is a car dealership, and the last one is!" So I start thinking about how a person who shoots in a basement, on five foot wide material, can shoot fulltime..... it seems like it would be hard to coax clients down into this dungeon. But oh well. The conversation continues - eventually I end up asking, "Are you married?" And he replies, "Oh yes! She is so lovely, she bought me a prostitute for my birthday last year! She can't keep up with all the sex I want to have......." Random? Yes? So I sit there posing, thinking about the lady who bought her husband a prostitute for his birthday and how I think he is talking a big load of shit - but whatever. Keep posing, keep the conversation rolling, that is what it is all about.

Eventually he sets me on edge, he starts talking about all the awkward things.... Like his sex-life - about how he likes to have sex three times a day and his wife just cannot keep up with him anymore. He starts telling me about models who are stalking him, they want to have sex with him, he just cannot get rid of those models (oh yea, 300lb fat guys, we want them all....sure). He talks about how he has $500 in his pocket and it's all mine if I will consider having sex with him..... What the hell is up with that? I have a modeling portfolio - I do not have an escort page.

After he crossed the awkward line, I shut off for conversation - started watching the clock..... basically posing without thinking, posing without talking, posing without paying attention to his - I am officially there to get my money and leave.

OH but No.... it could not possibly be as easy as it usually happens to be....

All of a sudden the wife comes home. The wife is a nanny.... I want you to think - Mary Poppins but mean, angry, Korean, 4 feet tall - just mad at the world, because she was born into it. My photographer starts yelling at me to put some 'real clothes' on......whatever..... She comes running downstairs, calling me a "Whore" and "Slut"... She is right up in my face....totally crazy... So I DEMANDED my money, telling him how he is a total asshole for bringing me into this situation.... He short changed me by $100 ($500 in his pocket, eh?) Just grabbed my stuff and ran at that point - Half way down the driveway - The wife jumps in her car and starts tailgating me.... was so scary. She followed me all the way to the highway, all mean, and angry and on my bumper......

Yesterday was insane.
So yea.
If your wife is not OK with model-photography
Lock her in a closet and leave her there....... ugh.

The Two Questions -

Someone told me once that most people go through life without answering either of these questions - Who are you? And what do you want? - I don't know about them.....

But at almost every shoot I go to,
I generally ask my photographers two things:
One - "Are you Married" and
Two - "What is your full-time job"

Sometimes photographers take this personally - but most the time they answer. I ask these questions not to pry but out of curiosity - Because with just two answers, I can learn so much about a person. I can spot the guys who love their wives, the ones who lie and cheat, the ones who have kids, the ones who take on photography as full-time. The list can just go on.....

Ready for some stats? Follow closely......
"Are you married?"

What I have found out is that most photographers that I work with are married. I would say about 80% are married and 20% are not. Out of all those men who are married,
only about 70% tell their wives and the other 30% do not.

So you have the 70% who know. These are the wives who support their husband's slightly 'different' hobby, wives that appreciate it, the wives who condone it but live with it, the wives who think their husbands are cheating on them, and the wives who go shopping for model wardrobe and make-up. The women who bake cookies, the women who leave threatening notes on the bathroom mirror, the women who wish their husbands were spending more money on house-related things. - Personally, I like the cookie bakers.

Now, 30% of married women who do not know what their husband's are up to.... they are not being informed because........They wouldn't approve. "She thinks I'm cheating on her,""My wife wants me to fix the kitchen up before I start working with models again".... blah blah blah. Here's my Dr. Phil moment - If you are with someone that you cannot openly talk about modeling photography - Then someday, you're going to get a divorce. And you know what? It has nothing to do with photography at all !!

"What is your full-time job"
The majority of people that I work with shoot part-time
I would say that 80% shoot part-time, 20% full-time
Always think it's funny when a photographer will write me and say "Photography is just a hobby for me, these photos aren't going anywhere, just my port... can you discount your rates?" But you see, over 80% of the people that I shoot w
ith are hobbyists. There is no way that I could afford to model all over the place if stopped charging. I would have to go home, get a secretarial job, and lie in wait that someday, some photographer would eventually stumble upon central NY and shoot me.

I just thought that an entry like this would help people see where they stand in the midst of things.... I am shooting in Silver Springs in 20 minutes. I better get moving!