Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Wrong place, Wrong Tim

Yesterday I show up to a shoot and we do the usual dance of introductions. He asks me a bunch of questions and I ask him some questions. Just simple conversation. I ask, "What do you do full time?" "Are you married?" He replies, "Oh yes! She is so lovely, she bought me two prostitutes for my birthday last year! She can't keep up with all the sex I want to have." Random? He just keeps talking about how he likes to have sex three times a day and his wife just cannot keep up. He starts telling me about models who stalk him and want to sit on his face and it just gets more and more sexual. I feel less and less comfortable. So I shut off completely. No longer engaging at ALL. Three hours into the shoot, I need to finish all four hours so I can get paid and find a place to sleep..... But OH but No.... it could not possibly be as easy... All of a sudden his "lovely" wife comes home - "SHIT!" he says. I can tell that he is scared. Real scared. He starts whispering loudly at me, "Put some real clothes on! QUICK".... She hears him and comes running downstairs, calling me a "Whore" and "Slut"... She is right up in my face. Inches from my face. My heart was pounding a million miles an hour. How did I even end up in this situation? Why am I here?.......totally crazy...  He is telling me to leave and pushing me out the door but I refuse to leave without getting paid. He took up half my day. This was my only shoot and I did not have money for a motel....  He tosses money at me, screaming at his wife, screaming at me. I make it to my car and the wife comes sobbing out the front door, crying so hard. She jumped in her car, tailgating me to the highway.... Yesterday was insane. I just *never* seem to know what sort of situation I am walking into.  It is emotionally exhausting. I miss being home. I hope things get better.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That post really had me ROFLMAO!!!

How often do you get amateurs who just want to see you naked and try to get in your pants? When you get to the beach, can I hire you? I still have my Brownie Hawkeye LOL.

Seriously, I really admire what you are doing. Wish I had done something similar when I was your age. And, Jack Kerouac is one of my favorite writers. There is an open dinner date if you need one while in Virginia Beach, and I promise no hanky panky. My daughter will probably be visiting.
If so, it will be a threesome.

Mark and Lindsay said...

Jeez louise. This guy is doing what every adolescent fantasizes, but we all need to grow out of. Poor sap is still trying to get casual sex while he's tied to a korean snakewoman.
I assume your instincts will keep you out of these things, cuz one day you could get in between an armed couple and get hurt! Surely it aint worth that...

TJ Photography 80's Photog said...

Hey London.....I loved reading about what happened to you there with the 300lb married boytoy. :) That bamboo pic is pretty nice.

London Andrews said...

Yea, I work with a lot of people who just want to see me naked - but they are usually pretty harmless. I just ask that they are respectful, and most are.

The roadtrip is a lot of fun.... being able to blog about it helps. I feel bad that I didn't start one earlier than the roadtrip - I have stories about midgets, and photographers getting stung by man-o-wars, and all kinds of things.

I do hope that I don't get myself in any kind of real trouble - Usually if things are really bad, I just leave. But I do thank you for worrying... : )

And I agree, Mr. 80's Photographer - The bamboo photo did come out pretty nice. Out of awkward situations - there are still photos to be made. : ) Missed you at the convention - you would have had a blast running around shooting models.

Roberto Rodrigues said...

I love your last line about locking her in a closet and leaving her there.... It reminds me of what I told someone over 20 some years ago...back when i was eating sleeping and breathing with my cameras...I mean I didn't go or do any thing with out them...

A female friend of mine sayes to me, that I can't sleep with my cameras(meaning have sex), and I go true, but when I get tired of them I can lock them in the closet and forget about them.