Monday, April 28, 2008

Not the Beaver Dam.... the HOOVER DAM....

One time, back when I was in college and I was avoiding going to class, I pulled over and picked up a hitchhiker... The weary eyed man shimmied into my front seat, balancing his backpack on one leg and a canteen of water in the other.... I asked him where he was going and he said, "Anywhere that you are going, lady - Until you kick me out.." So I told him headed to class... and he said, "There are worst places to go than college..." That entire month after I picked him up - I showed up to class on time. ...Because he was right, there are worse places than college....

The other day while winding the back roads to Vegas, I found myself wanting to pick up another nice weary eyed traveler, backpack and canteen in hand, half dead from the desert heat - but I had this crazy flashback from No Country for Old Men so I tossed some bottled water out my window and slammed down on the gas instead..... I thought about that guy all day.... poor man lagging in the desert heat. I hope he is still alive... I hope some wonderful truck driver pulled over and saved him,

That same day (perhaps it was karma.... if you believe that sort of thing) ....

My car ran out of gas - on - the - top - of - the - Hoover - fucking - Dam. Yea. Like on top of it. Right there. On the top. I was only four miles from the gas station....

The gas gauge in my car is really strange, sometimes it will run out of gas at a quarter of a tank..... It all depends on the day, the alignment of the moons, the way the road treated it that particular day.... On this particular day... my car was just plain angry - it stopped moving - on - top - of - the - Hoover - Dam. Since I had no idea what to do, I tried to look busy as people started to skirt the car on the shoulder... they were cheerleadering positive things like, "Did you run out of gas, oh that is so sucky" "Sure is a hot day to be stuck in the road, huh?" "Mami can I have your number - Mami look at me?"

Luckily, a cop car pushed me to safety. Where I then phoned-in Triple A and had this baffling conversation with the woman on the other line.... the convo went like this, "Hi... Yes, this is an emergency, I ran out of gas on the Hoover Dam. What? No no... not the Beaver Dam. The HOOVER Dam. Ummm... the one that boarders Arizona and Nevada. You've never heard of the Hoover Dam? Really? It is a national landmark... President Hoover? Did you ever have a class on US History. No I am not making fun of you - I just cannot believe you do not know what the Hoover Dam is.... could you send someone out here with some gas? No I am not in Ohio. I am at the Hoover Dam, in Nev-ada. I know you are typing it into google maps, yes I know. Are you spelling it right? No no it does not start with an R... HOOVER with an H... I am not in Iowa" And that went on for about a half hour until she could transfer me - she still had no idea what was going on when she transfered me.... I hope she went home and looked it up.

In the four hours that I waited for Triple A to show up - I met a bunch of nice bikers headed to the RiverRun (which I am now absolutely dying to do as well) - I filmed a bunch of longhorned sheep. Someone gave me a bunch of snacks and some cold tomato juice (which I love)... so all in all, it really was not a bad day, just a frustrating one....

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