Mom has found out about a few things and is coming down on me hard. She wrote me an email about how she cannot forgive herself for not being a better mother and about how she cannot support my modeling career any longer (she really never did to begin with).
I also keep running into photographers who say that most derogatory things .. "Pout like someone told you to read a book this year..." Or that one photog
rapher who refused to call me by my name. He called me "Model".... "Model go over there, Model turn around, Model put on this hat..." "I have a name...could you call me by it?" "No, I would rather not." Photographers like this make me feel so much less than a human.
rapher who refused to call me by my name. He called me "Model".... "Model go over there, Model turn around, Model put on this hat..." "I have a name...could you call me by it?" "No, I would rather not." Photographers like this make me feel so much less than a human. Matt and I are in Detroit Michigan - I have less than a week to figure out what I am doing once this
trip comes full circle... One thing is for sure, I cannot possibly go home and deal with my mother if she is this upset. She will cry and beg and tell me how horrible modeling is - I cannot deal with that. I have things that I want to do with my life. I have very big dreams and it is very important that I authentically follow them. I realize that it is not what she wants for me (most of my family members do not want me doing this), but I am doing it for ME. I was really looking forward to going home. I feel like all the things that make me feel happy and comfortable have been stripped from me. Where am I going to go if I do not head home to NY?
trip comes full circle... One thing is for sure, I cannot possibly go home and deal with my mother if she is this upset. She will cry and beg and tell me how horrible modeling is - I cannot deal with that. I have things that I want to do with my life. I have very big dreams and it is very important that I authentically follow them. I realize that it is not what she wants for me (most of my family members do not want me doing this), but I am doing it for ME. I was really looking forward to going home. I feel like all the things that make me feel happy and comfortable have been stripped from me. Where am I going to go if I do not head home to NY?
6 comments:
Not knowing anything about you or your family it is hard to think of a way to justify the emotional turmoil that surrounds those types of situations. I would just hope that her concern is for your best interest and not her sense of self or how what you are doing reflects upon her. While I went through something similar it had to do family expectations, nothing about modeling. I traveled the country worked several different jobs and the time of my life. Experiences and the contacts that I made along the way helped me become much more successful and well rounded (albeit I wish I weren’t so round in middle age); leaving my siblings behind. If you are not tied down (kids, significant other, mortgage…etc), I strongly suggest that you continue to enjoy life to the fullest and travel. Reading your blog along this trip reaffirms my belief that those life experiences can only enrich ones life.
The photos while nude have all been tastefully done (at least the ones I have seen) and nothing you should be ashamed of.
GO CONQUER THE WORLD!!!! It is there for the taking!!! Keep posting!!!
I have done more than just nude photos - they are not tasteful but it was fun. Unfortunately, the magazines seem to have made their way in the mail to my house..... and now I will never go home again.
Yay to travel.
Sad for the family....
I guess things will work out, think I am headed back to NYC for awhile to figure out where I am headed next. Have some clothing lines set up for DC, probably headed to TX. Hopefully Australia. I may or may not keep this blog..... my family reads it. And I am not sure I want them in my life right now.
Like I said in my previous comment, I had similar issue. Wrote off father and stepmother for 10+ years until they came around. Kept those in my life that were supportive and helpful.
If you start a new blog I’d like to figure out where to read it. I have enjoyed this one for the past few months and would like to continue to follow the story of the gal from NY who have enough never to see the world on her terms.
Wow, its a damn shame that there are photographers out there who would talk to any model in such a manner. I'm further shocked that if these photographers worked with you in the last week that means most if not all were from my neck of the woods which makes it worse, in my opinion at least.
Much sympathy in regards to the family drama. Mal and I have had our share of it ever since we started dabbling in photography so we know how it feels (at least in a miniscule way since you're way over our heads in terms of exposure).
I too hope you don't drop the blogging as I've wasted many a moment at my day job reading of your travels. I envy your ability to do what you do and have lived vicariously through your travels.
Wish I'd known you were in Detroit... could have attended a swell party Saturday and maybe shot on Sunday. You owe me one. :)
Posted that last one before I'd finished reading your entire post... sorry to hear about the situation at home, and with the jerky photographers. You do deserve better treatment than that, so just find a way to surround yourself with people who appreciate you!
xox
G
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