My Strap-On Box

While shopping for lingerie today - I found MY strap-on Box! Hehehe.... always makes me giggle...

I arrived at that shoot - to find eight dudes, sitting on the couch, drinking whiskey, watching hardcore porn.  Sex-toys everywhere! Sex toys tossed carelessly on sofas, the tables, the floor. I came to the obvious conclusion - Someone set me up for a bukkake scene?!..... I freaked out! Grabbed my stuff and high-tailed it to my car. Half way there, I ran into the photographer in the parking lot.  He seemed genuinely happy to see me. He seemed honest and likeable. I did not feel like he would try to put me in a bukkake scene....

Me:  "Ummm... What is going on with porno escapade inside?"

Him:  "Oh you mean all the guys on the couch?.... They are actually reviewing product today.  I think there are about eight of them, right?  Production managers, toy creators, box cover managers, ect...."

Me:  "You mean, those guys in there - get paid to watch porn?"

Him:  "Yup, they get paid for that."


The strap-on was so cheaply made, they used duct tape on my butt, to keep it attached..... My makeup artist kept coming over and adding more tape.... Man, duct tape is great for anything!


Sara Liz told Carlotta that I had a giant poster at the AVN's last year - Not sure whether that is flattering or.... well, yea... It's flattering..... Anyways - if you see my big black dong in a sex-shop - feel free to tell people you know me... haha.... that should spark some good conversation...

Perry and Meeyah

Patrick and I adopted the three year old Catahoula dog!

Had a terrible mishap on the day we brought her home - Perry, our resident kitty, was hanging out around the house, not really interacting with the dog (we have had dogs over before without incident)... And then, without any kind warning, Perry attacked the dog all teeth and nails (Perry grew up in a Motel parking lot, where dogs chased her all the time - I guess I should have known Perry should have expected this).... Anyways, Perry gouged Meeyah's eye badly - I felt horrible about it. Within four hours of bringing Meeyah home, we were headed to the Emergency ER....The only positive thing I can take away from visiting the ER that night, is that Pat and I really had the chance to see Meeyah's amazing temperament..... She was in SO much pain (cat scratches are really dirty things) and she never growled or got upset with any of the vet tech poking her eyeball. She just quietly sat there, looking sad, hoping it would be over.

Meeyah is still recovering... luckily, her eye looks great. Thankful that everything worked out OK.... I cannot tell you how worried and upset I was about this. Perry still hates the dog. And our dog is now terribly terrified of all cats.... 

Positive things about the new addition to the family: Meeyah cuddles A LOT! She will snuggle up right next to you in bed, and cuddle her head right under your chin and anytime you stop hugging her, she will snuggle closer. It is adorable. She loves new people. She has not barked once since we have gotten her (I keep wondering if she even knows how to bark) She has already learned Sit/Stay/Down.

Negatives: She smells terrible! And I cannot wash her until her stitches come out.... She isn't housebroken (it was impossible to crate train her with that Elizabethan Collar, so we have just been watching her and taking her outside on a schedule.... works about 70 percent of the time) - She is hungry and wants to eat ALL food.... she doesn't discriminate between my salad bowl, my favorite book, or a dog bone - She won't play fetch with me.... but it's cool. I like playing fetch with myself, Meeyah. No worries.

Neon glasses and a bowler hat

Matt moved back to Syracuse. You should have seen him in the airport, carrying around four months of belongings - He had BurningMan clothes, dressy clothes for LA, workout stuff, regular clothing - It wouldn't all fit in his bag...... So he just wore it. He looked like he was headed to a themed party in Antarctica, where they wear neon sunglasses with bowler hats..... We were flying on Christmas Day (first for me) - We gave up our seats on the plane to a very desperate couple trying to get home to visit their family for Christmas. In return, the airline gave Matt and I $600 in vouchers and we still got home before midnight! It was a happy holiday to everyone.

Corwin: November in the GreenBelt

Another kind of Family...

Matt, Patrick and I attended a Twitter-up this week - Which is a celebratory party for people who spend far too much time on the Internet - I am one of these people! We Tweet, we Tumble, we Flick, we Social Network! About fifty percent of those Twitter-up folk work from home, running their businesses, living in front of a monitor.

A lot of people who attended the Twitter-up, also read this blog - Surprisingly, I was even nominated for an Austin Blogger Award! Nominated! Me?.. How cool is it that I have lived in this city for only one year, and people actually voted for me here in TX!

Got into this conversation with one of my twitter buds - The conversation was really eye opening, and it made me think about something that I have never really put my mind to before. He was talking about how upsetting it is that I cannot share my life and my success with my family - And he then said something like, "Isn't it cool to have such a huge family online, that is so open and accepts all that you do?" - And you know what? He is completely correct. Even though I cannot share my life with my immediate family - You guys *are* my family.... You are my soundboard. You are my inspiration. You listen to what I have to say and you give me grand advice on all things. You have helped me in times of need. You have supported my modeling career, my writing, my decisions (even the bad ones), my adventures, need to travel - You send me letters about your family, your lives. I know many of you personally. You have been there for all things - I just wanted to say Thank You. Thank you for all that you have done this year. It is great having a family that I can be open with, a family that I do not need to hide from.

Showertimes

When the weather gets chilly..... I do not turn up the heat in my apartment, no - Instead, I emerse myself in a blistering hot shower! My bathroom becomes an incredible searing hot vortex, in which normal people would either scald to death or melt into a giant puddle of broiled mush bubbling in the drainpipes.... In my sweltering sweat room, I create an ongoing fantasy: I am in a wooden steam bath deep in the Amazon, sharing my company with intellectual guru-types. It is exotic, there are birds in the rainforest, and mist in the trees. Back home in Austin.... my Amazon gurus hang out on my porcelian crapper, making bowel movements, while picking kitten hair off their toes.... I suppose..... every steam bath, in every house, is different.

Best ideas for blogs come to me while showering. Then, of course, by the time I sit down in front of my computer, I have forgotten all the things that were worthwhile - except for this morning! This morning, while I was showering, I recalled a conversation from years ago.... It was this crazy sex story about my friend in LA, and how her and her man had been getting down and dirty in the shower - Somehow, amidst the friction, she slipped and nose-skidded into her bathtub faucet - breaking her both nose, a few teeth, and busting open her lip. Not the best shower story, I know. Perhaps it was the horror of the story, but today I remembered once I sat in front of my computer, and actually decided to Google how many sex related accidents happen in the bathroom (I often spend a lot of time Googling things like this) - And holy hell, I know this has nothing to do with sex in the bathtub, but did you know that you can get electrocuted while taking a shower in a thunderstorm? It is serious! Who knew? Somewhere between 10-30 people get electrocuted every year in their bathtub: Through their metal pipes, through impurities in the water, through bathtub attachments.... They say that the majority of people who survive these freak-accidents are the people who were wearing rubber shoes.....

Who wears rubber shoes in the shower? I don't know - I might just put it on my Christmas List.... You can never be too safe, you know.

Disintegration Collaboration

"Hi, London! It's been a long time since I've written. I congratulate you on your kitty-loving ways and your decision to go veggie. I've been a vegetarian for a couple of years now and, slowly, I'm aiming at a vegan path. I know you're super busy so I wanted to let you know that some of my latest artwork is part of the Disintegration Collaboration Project, which allows time and nature to help you create recycled art. One of my latest DisCo bundles features a xerox low res picture of you. After several weeks of rain, wind, heat, etc., here are the results. 

Take care, London. I wish you the best - Duff"