Wednesday, January 14, 2009

California Dreaming (on such a winter's day)

Sitting in one place again, spending three weeks out of the month doing absolutely nothing - I am bored out of my mind. B-o-r-e-d! You know, it was going to happen - Has nothing to do with modeling.... or a boyfriend... or an apartment... It is the travel. God, I miss the travel.... sooooo much.

Every morning I wake up and gaze helplessly at the snow outside our window, thinking, "Today I will go out and I will get a job!"..... Which is swiftly followed by the counter-argument.... "Why get a job? You do not need one, you could model or sell a kidney or something. People will tell you what to do, you will have responsibility (loathe that word), forces unknown will try to keep you in Cleveland-foreverrrr... You will do their dishes, answer their phones, till you die...." (Backing up, you have to realize that when I hear that word... 'forever'... in my head, it sounds like CountDracula from Sesame Street being muffled with a 9-5 tie, "...FOR..EVER... bwhahaha...") I can come up with a million ideas as to why getting a regular job would be beneficial - including things such as: taxes, new skill-sets, co-workers, a job I can discuss over the dinnertable. I also have a million and ten excuses as to why it is a completely horrific idea. The loss of freedom is most prominent - I realize that someday I will have to get another job..... but maybe now is not the time for one? I am not sure...

All I know is that stepping away from a 24/7 life of travel-modeling around the country..... has done me well. While I still do not love modeling, I no longer 'hate' it. I enjoy not having to wake up to modeling and I enjoy not having to fall asleep thinking about it.... it does not define, alone, who I am.... My life is no longer scheduled on a spreadsheet (well, actually that is not true, I still love my daily spreadsheet...ha)....

While modeling is still not my favorite thing to do, I am starting to find it again, which is a very good thing.... Travel-wise, I have always loved traveling and I cannot wait for LA on the 22nd!!! This trip is so needed, cannot even begin to tell you. Decided that I am going to take a day or two off, drive up the coast for awhile. To me, there is nothing more enjoyable than that coastline - the cliffs, the seaside, the starfish, all smushed together in one place.... on the side of the world where the sun sets over the water.... I only wish I was driving it in my own car.... I might bring my rental back that day and pick up a convertible for the trip.... Cannot imagine doing a ride like that without the sky and sunshine over me...

Work for LA. Got hired by Danni.com - which is owned by Penthouse.... not shooting any explicit stuff. They are working within comfort zone, which I very much appreciate.... Still cannot believe a company like that would hire me. They are such a huge name. Not to mention, the shoot pays extremely well. Also! I just got published (thanks to sexy-face Larry Bradby) in the new No 45 Marquis Magazine, a European Fetish/Fashion magazine - On the same pages as Kumi Monster and Angela Ryan! Still blows my mind. Going to buy a couple copies.....

Photos: Matthew McMullen Smith (just keeps getting better...)

3 comments:

PD said...

Just remember to tell us what the sun looks and feels like when you get to California. I'm starting to forget. If you have the time, enjoy doing it,(Travel, that is) why would one want to stop? Yes, eventually time & reasons catch up with everyone. When the time comes, you will know. So enjoy as much as you can now. Good to her that you are finding modeling again. Got to think that has to make it a little easier. Sounds like there is good news all over. (Outside of winter). Have a good time in LA.

ninjaphoto nudes said...

Have fun in Cali! Give my best to the girls!

vikingman said...

Hei You!

sorry to have been away for a bit, the world around me, was sort of collapsing and required several longer attempts to save it, getting a bit better now. Job, house, winter, snow, training the knee, help friends with tractor trouble, the days ARE too short, though the sun has turned and work continues at night.

A lot of things have happened here, I read,thank You!
Wonderful pictures, these fibres, were they blown around? or statically charged?

Soooooo good to read Your heart is speaking up again and You are listening, doing some tuning...
Time always helps to see things clearer, though nobody knows, when it's time for new action...
Live is so wonderful!
I'm convinced, You must be gifted !

all the very best to You,

from the "favorite viking",

thanks PD once more, for this exclusive compliment, it warms my heart every time!