So I took a break on writing - mostly because I feel like my drive has been lost....to model, to travel, to book jobs, to stay so busy all the time. Was talking to Kerri Taylor today on MM and she mentioned about how she is tired of modeling......I am starting to feel that way too? .. Tonight I mentioned to a photographer that I might retire this year......, "Looks like you've smartened up," he said...... Which kind of took me back. Do photographers think that modeling is not a good career choice?.....
I wonder if the feeling comes and goes?...... if it sticks?.... or if we'll go out and do something new? Who knows, maybe Kerri will quit next year and maybe I will go to school and get a waitress job somewhere.....
Some days though, I wake up and I'm just so excited to go work - Like today! Shot in a giant warehouse against all these beautiful murals, with a space heater, some good coffee, and good company ..... climbed up on a roof, stopped the construction across the street..... it was fun. Tonight I am sleeping at Slyhorse Studios and they are having a pin-up event tomorrow evening, which I am going to be a part of... I miss Matthew, it has got me in a funk..... traveling alone is not all that much fun..... it is like you do a million awesome things, but there is no one to share it with.
Some days though, I wake up and I'm just so excited to go work - Like today! Shot in a giant warehouse against all these beautiful murals, with a space heater, some good coffee, and good company ..... climbed up on a roof, stopped the construction across the street..... it was fun. Tonight I am sleeping at Slyhorse Studios and they are having a pin-up event tomorrow evening, which I am going to be a part of... I miss Matthew, it has got me in a funk..... traveling alone is not all that much fun..... it is like you do a million awesome things, but there is no one to share it with.
6 comments:
Seems like there's an infatuation period with the whole modeling/photography thing, where the first few months it's all new and dazzling, and then there's the excitement of seeing yourself improve and maybe even start to get noticed, and if we're lucky, a period of time when we're in demand and the gratification that goes with that. But after that, where is there to go? Where is the motivation? For a lucky few, there's financial success or publication or other motivating rewards, but most people have to look within themselves to find motivation.
There's also the problem of not being the new face on the scene that everyone wants to work with... most photographers and models who work together will only do so once or twice. Everyone will have a few favorites they work with more frequently, but a lot of people are only interested in the "flavor of the month."
I think like a personal relationship, once the initial infatuation wears off, we have to look to see if there's a deeper feeling that can sustain us through the years. Some might say that deeper feeling is where the true art comes from, and what lets some people continue doing the work simply because they can't NOT do it. These people also seem to find some long-term collaborators who offer a real sustaining power, and tend to act as mentors for others who are just starting out.
As you said, some days I feel like I'm burned out, and other times a shoot will completely energize me and I'll surprise myself with how productive and fun the experience is. On my blog over the months, I've noted a number of other photographers who have said at one point or another that they were taking a break or walking away or changing their focus from nudes to something else. Most of them backslide almost immediately, having missed that part of their life. Can working in a bar match the thrill of shooting nudes on a rooftop and bringing a construction crew to a grinding halt?
But this is a tough business in which to earn a living while maintaining artistic freedom, so it's only natural that "real life" concerns creep in, or in the case of touring models, life on the road finally just wears you out. Maybe a break is in order, maybe a change, but something tells me that you won't be able to stay away for too long. (And you'd better not retire before you make it back to Dayton!)
xox
G
Wow.... Gary - that was a persuasion/arugmentive essay and a half...... A+ from the English teacher for that one. : )
For me, modeling has always been the art - I love that I went from creating art, to participating as part of the art. Life should be creative, it is what keeps people alive on the inside...... but sometimes, when I shoot four times a day, with four different people - for a week straight - trying to pay my travel bills. I feel like the creative aspect has disappeared......
And that is no fun.
Modeling has in many forms - become "a job"... like a desk job or a working behind a counter at Walmart. I spend half the time going through the motions..... I rarely remember who I work with, unless they are completely off-the-wall crazy.... I stopped keeping contacts.... I could not tell you where I shot yesterday....
I just want a change.... and yes, I am more than sure that if I retire this year, I will miss it. How could I not? These have been some of the most amazing years of my life - all the people, the photos, the experiences, the way that I have grown as a person - just incomparable. But I cannot do this forever, and definitely not at the pace that I am currently working at...... I am driving myself into the ground....
I just need a break. Maybe I will do school for a year and then come back into it? I don't know.... I am just not sure. All I know is that, as of right now, this is probably my last year - and that actually seems like a light at the end of the tunnel.....
I seems to me that there are a lot of models who go all out for a year or so and then realize just how hard of work it is and question whether they could be doing something else that takes less work and is more rewarding.
With my photography, I definitely go through boom and bust cycles. I come up with a new idea and shoot it with a bunch of models or I meet a new model who really inspires me and shoot with her for a few months. Of course, it helps that photography is a serious hobby for me, not something that I need to be able to eat. Actually, I try to only shoot on an irregular schedule to keep it something that I love rather than "a job."
That said though, I'm planning to do a bunch of shoots in January and February (hint, you should make a trip down to Baltimore in that time span) and then I'm going to go back to architecture and landscape photography for a while. I've got some big life changes coming up with jobs and moving and everything and I'm changing my focus too. I think it's a natural part of the creative process. If you keep doing one thing for too long, it's not creative anymore.
Oh, I did up a little website and there are a fair number of pictures of you on it... just in case you want to take a look. http://www.pphoto.info
Take a break for the winter. Then go back to modeling when your batteries recharge. Everyone gets fatigued from their regular activities. A sort of malaise sets in. It's normal.
Lodon sweet heeart... I know how you feel. I think it is a sign you need to do more shoots for yourself. I remember when I first started and would travel with Alexa Morgan. That girl has been in and out of the business since 2000. She would burn herself out, and then come back a few monthes later because the real world isn't that creative.
I took the month of December off myself. I worked my ass off in November so I could.
Like you I have been thinking about school I have a degree half completed.
I am starting to travel to Europe for my change. Also, doing more fetish work has refreshed me.
Samantha Grace
modernretropinup.com
Alfred inquires is that 1st picture from Commack? ;)
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