Friday, April 30, 2010

London Vs The Fleas

Want to know what I have been doing all week? (besides living the vegetarian life and sending out ebay stuff...) Battling a flea infestation that Perry brought home! These fleas think that my bed is a circus tent - they wheel and twirl across my sheets, they belly flop off the edge of my bed, they triple lutz across my pillow with chomping jaws. I am horrified, disgusted, and eaten alive...

"Ok, I can deal with this..... just fleas" - My mom always used Frontline Plus (Mom's are always right)... so Frontline Plus it was..... Followed directions, waited a few days.... only to find the fleas had started pairing up for trapeze acts! Doubling in number!

When Mom is not right...... the Internet knows best - Research proves that many of the Frontline Plus brands are no longer working because so many of the flea larva have become immune to it (whatdoyaknow?) - While googling phrases like, "Why are fleas so in favor to their own existence?" - One big-bold-swaggering-Daddy-Flea decided, "Hey, lets go chomp on this lady's boob" - I now have a flea bite the size of a third nipple....

War was declared!

Strategy:

Outdoors: 1)Borax: In the Middle Ages, castles built motes and poured hot tar over their walls onto unsuspecting troops....When you have fleas, who needs hot tar when you have Borax Laundry Detergent!? It dehydrates and dissolves fleas.. 2) DC Earth - Crushed up shells are so tiny, they leave hundreds of cuts on the flea, cutting them to pieces.. 3) Nematodes - (I love saying that word, "Hey guys! I am going out to put the Nematodes on the lawn!"): Tiny microscopic worms that kill small insects such as gnats and fleas but leave all the good bugs, such as earth worms, totally safe for humans/animals, good for the garden... Get this - the Nematode burrows into the flea, and lay eggs in it's stomach, and then eats the flea alive! This is some sci-fi shit, huh?

Indoors: 1) Borax: Used both outdoors and indoors, sprinkled all over the rugs.. 2) Apple Cider Vinegar: Kills them on contact, sprayed all the cushions with it (smell drove my roommates crazy) 3) Eucalyptus Plants: Fleas cannot stand them! Plus, it makes me feel like a Koala in Aussie-Land... 4) Vacuum... a lot!

Perry-Cat: 1) Capstar: The 24 hour Pill that turns your cat into a Flea-Killing-Death-Machine! Attempting to purchase this, I was led to understand that this is a prescription pet medicine - Since I do not have a regular vet for Perry, I had to call A LOT of offices until someone would sell it to me.. Not sure of the underlying idea behind prescription pet medicine really. Strung out pets on street corners? Apparently the Internet is sort of a Pet-Med-Black-Market, because I could get whatever I wanted online. 2)Advantage/Revolution: Capstar only rids fleas for 24 hours, so you need to follow up with a monthly regime. Bought Revolution... Decimated the fleas that were left...

Sitting in bed, it looks like the flea circus is finally gone - Direly, hope it stays that way because it is difficult trying to sleep when the fleas are tap dancing on your face.....

9 comments:

gsymm said...

Been there! Nothing feels more like victory than knowing all the little bastards are Dead!!!!

gsymm said...

Been there! Nothing feels more like victory than knowing all the little bastards are DEAD!!!!

TroyG said...

Revolution worked wonders in our house. Used it once a couple years ago and haven't seen a flea since. All of our cats stay indoors though, so if Perry goes out she could bring more in if you don't keep up with the monthly doses.

Derek said...

Well, I hope you were able to boot all of the boorish bugs...but you know you've reached the the pinnacle of voluptuousness when even the fleas go straight for your boobs. ;P

Geoffrey said...

I sure hope you don't have any more fleas. That is really hard!! But I am wondering about this vegetarian diet. Are you doing this because of values or for health reasons? You are a very beautiful woman and your curves are extremely attractive. Even though you would still be "yofi" ("beautiful" in Hebrew) no matter what, it would be a shame to lose any of your curves!

rschwartz70 said...

Fleas detect warm bodies as they pass activating their jumper so they can land on your legs. One reason why I don't have pets.

PD said...

Hope your campaign against this evil horde is successful. Remember General, accept nothing but unconditional surrender.
:)

London Andrews said...

Revolution worked! Tis a true win for Perry-cat....

She is an outdoor cat... I know that cats live longer if they are indoor kitties, but she was a stray and she loves the grass and the sun (couldn't take that away from her).... She never leaves the yard, just dozes in the backyard and on the front porch.... We treated the yard and I think that as long as we keep the revolution around, we should be ok.

There are just so many stray cats around here... she is bound to have a flea problem... all is good for now, though... whooooo!!!!

Evan said...

Awww Perry is so cute. I'm glad you guys have peace at last (long live the Great Flea Massacre of 2010). You have such a way with words J; you don't even seem to be trying to be whimsical and funny, it just comes naturally. All the best for you guys and have a smashing week. Muah!