Thanksgiving in ATX

Last night, our foursquare of roomates, all sat down and had a five minute discussion called: "Thanksgiving .... What does it mean! How shall we celebrate?" The four of us decided that 'Thanksgiving is best spent with all the Old-people-you-love' and without all those Old-people you love, cooking an ten pound turkey is a waste-of-time-and-effort. So Patrick, the roommates, and I are skipping out on the giant bird this year and instead, cooking a bunch of random Turkey related products: Turkey Bacon, Turkey Sausage, maybe Turkey Sandwiches in the evening-time. Hash-browns instead of mashed potatoes. Scrambled eggs instead of Deviled Eggs. Thanksgiving Breakfast! Whooo! Maybe I will even spoil myself with some of that delicious Pumpkin Pie Yogurt (which Titiania mentioned is now being sold at WholeFoodsMarket, mmm)

Tweet-Up Austin

It is hard making friends in a city when you rarely leave the house except to eat food - Signed up as a volunteer for PetsAliveAustin, but the orientation is not until next week - Looked into Meals on Wheels - I am looking into: reading circles, yoga classes, knitting classes, pole dancing classes, pottery - Also, I keep searching for a part-time job that allows me to create my own schedule (but *that* is proving to be completely impossible. I either have to quit modeling or find something to keep me occupied while Pat works his nine hour days)

Anyways - the other day, while perusing Twitter - I discovered a Tweet-up a few miles from my house! Uniting together through the Internet tubes, to drink beer and celebrate life! Whoo! Twitter! - Ha. Twitter Party Definition: Where everyone in the room must have conversations under 140 characters in length!

Invited Patrick and the roommates to attend the Tweet-up but they claimed it was going to be a geek-fest. "Come on, the only kind of people that attend things like that are the people who do not have friends.....They only leave their houses to eat food" Selling point! Count me in! Met so many wonderful local people from the twitter scene - a solar energy technician, a lovely girl who works at the TV station, a few people who work at UT, a guy who lives completely off raw food, even a journalist who writes about plus-sized modeling attended - While I suck at names, I had a blast. Highly recommend that you check out your local get-togethers. Get out of your house, make some new friends, break into a new scene, promote yourself - Even snagged the name of a really talented editor here in Austin that might be able to help me approach writing a book. Life is good.

Photo Credit: Lee Saxon - New Orleans, Aug 2009

Things to keep in mind

"A lot of the time, we are so focused on the things we want to fix, change and improve that it is a distraction from what we are really here to do. If we look closely, this eats up valuable time and energy that we can never get back. Let this be our focus. The task at hand, for each individual, is to focus - inward not outward. Connecting with our Self, our Light, and make the spiritual journey to freedom. We must reverse every thought, emotion, attitude and belief that traps us. We must purify our thoughts, forgive everything, care about everyone, have a good attitude and choose actions motivated by love. Warm, caring, compassionate, forgiving, friendly - this is what we want to be around. This is what we should become.”

Perrydactyl

Perrydactyl, the kitty that I adopted from Meth-Motel in Dayton Ohio, turned out to be a girl kitty (and is now stuck with the name Perrydactyl for the rest of her life) - She is pretty awesome. Just had her spayed a few weeks ago and she has been adventuring around the front yard - thought I would update with some photos - mostly because she is just so cute and all....

'Ask any question' - Day!

Keep me entertained. I figure that while I sit here, watching boring FinalCutPro tutorials all day - perhaps today can be a day of questions! : ) Ask me anything and I shall answer.....

Taking the month off

Patrick got a job while I was in the UK! He started on Thursday, working full-time for a itty-bitty local distribution company Downtown. Seems to really like it - great hours (9-6), good people, small company, dress down everyday, twice the pay he was making in Cleveland (he loved his job but was only making $7.50 in Ohio)

With that said, for the first time in two years, Patrick is going to have a little extra money in his account and he is covering my rent for this month! Yay! This means I can finally join a gym, get a library card, check out some of the local parks, visit all the wi-fi cafes, find a bookshelf, go thrifty shopping, get to know Austin, hang out with my kitty! Also, I am working through all the custom photo-sets and video-sets that people ordered last month... Finished five of the photo-sets (still not to late to order one), but as for video, I am still watching tutorials for FinalCutPro - I want to learn how to edit video on my Mac before I start turning out videos - give me a week.

E_String, Danny - London, UK

When the 'photographer' FINALLY dropped me off at Erin's place -twas a breath of fresh air in a hot, stuffy, uncomfortable situation - Could care less if she was actually home or not. At that point, I would have gladly curled up on her front steps... in the freezing rain all night...

 

I was elated to discover that Danny was actually home, though. Danny or Erin are moderators for modelmayhem.

Erin gave me my own bedroom and took some time off to go sightseeing with me. While I was with the 'photographer' - I had the chance to see some of Kent, the White Cliffs of Dover,  Erin, Danny and I stayed closer to home and hit up Trafalgar Square, The National Gallery, Salvages (a fancy fashion-mall full of Runway clothing). Watched movies, ate lots of take-out food, cooked marshmallows in the fireplace, cuddled up with her kitties. Danny brought me tea in bed every day (bless that man!) - Erin made hot ham and cheese sammiches... : ) Both her and Danny took a day to shoot some photos of me. Had a chance to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day on Nov 5th at the Crystal Palace - celebrating treason against Parliament!

In the end, the best time spent in London, UK - was spent shooting with Erin and her Rolliflex - Wait till you see the photos.

London, UK

Been trying to write this blog about London, UK for most of the weekend - Not sure what to say - I did not have a great time. I wish that I never went. If you read this blog often, I am sure you have noted that I am a bit too trusting at times. This is a quality that I both despise and cherish. While I do put myself in situations that are uncomfortable... usually, I can stumble through them. I test myself with them, learn from them - It helps me to understand who I am better - I take more chances than I probably should. And yes, maybe someday I will end up dead somewhere. But most people are good people, if I approached life thinking otherwise - I would not be who I am.

The day that I flew into London, one of blog readers from Becker's blog, picked me up at the airport! He booked a trendy hotel in downtown Soho to shoot in. And afterwards, he took me out exploring the city. Even though it was "just a bridge," he gave into my pleas to explore the famous Harry Potter Millennium bridge - We visited London bridge, London eye from a distance, grabbed some Bitters at a great little pub on the Thames. Wandered around Piccadilly Circus.

The guy who booked my trip to London picked me up on Friday  - I spent most of my weekend in constant fear after he took away my passport and threatened to cancel my flight home if I did not work with him - We had agreed to playboy styled nudes - but I walked into a situation with strap-on-dildos, a naked photographer in the woods, a male-model getting caned on the floor... Since I signed a contract saying that I would work with this 'photographer' four hours every day from Friday-Monday evening. Spent most of my freetime sleeping until Noon, drinking myself into a near coma at the local pubs or reading my books, trying to submerge myself into any other world other than the one I was in. The 'p

hotographer' had a print-out of my limitations, and yet, I found myself being pushed again and again - Acting out perverse fantasies.  He just enjoyed watching me suffer.

There was no sex, but it felt even more disgusting than bodily harm - I felt emotionally manipulated, in a heightened state of fear and anxiety.

By Monday morning, I shut-down completely. I barely felt like a human being anymore. I kept checking my phone, hoping 6pm would happen so I could get my passport and my flight ticket home - I am 100% sure that he would have been vindictive enough to cancel my ticket home if I did not follow through with working with him. If I learned anything on this trip, it is that I will absolutely NEVER let a photographer buy my ticket to another country EVER again in my LIFE! Ever. I was on edge every-second I was there. I am shaking while I write this post. I feel damaged.

I would want to go into detail about what happened in the UK, I do (the world should know about the dark side of the modeling industry) - but I am not going to. The 'photographer' reads this blog. I just want to put all of this behind me. This trip broke me. And it will take me a long time to put all my pieces back together.