London,
I discovered a long time ago that a good photographer needs to be in love with their subject if they are to truly capture a glimpse of its soul. You have the rare ability to MAKE the camera fall in love with you regardless of what the photographer does or doesn't do.
It is true - to each his own. For me, you are the most beautiful female, from head to toe, that I have ever looked upon (and I've seen a few). But you are much more than this.
I've been keeping up with your travels, blogs, youtubes, etc., as I have also criss-crossed the country along the same path. I can feel/remember your excitement while some spirited demon drove me to keep looking for whatever seemed to be missing from within!
My hunch is that your hunger and passion for the knowledge that comes with each new discovery is what fuels your soul. You want to experience life in it's "rawest" form. It will, in fact, make you wiser, smarter, more compassionate, and all the more a beautiful person. It's something that most people won't understand why you do it, or why you must do it alone.Eventually, you just want to love, and be loved for who you are.
I hope you do not find this email offensive. It was not meant to be, rather a recognition of what I see "through" your photographs. No, I'm not a weirdo or stalker. Just someone who "sees" you.
Again, no woman was ever more beautiful than you, and I want to photograph you, too - once you've stopped looking so hard, because I can only imagine the imagery you'll create once it's all figured out!
Enjoy your journey. Keep giving photographers images they'll never repeat. You are indeed leaving your mark on the world, which is the point anyway, right?
I really enjoy when I get mail that someone has been following my journey as person, I feel as if they are a close friend who has been with me for years.... I wish I had started this blog before modeling, I really do. This entire 'journey' has changed me irrevocably - I am finally happy, self sufficient, doing something I love. I am in a good place - it is a very freeing feeling - doing something you love and being able to get by on it... Never could I find a letter such as yours to be offensive, I thank you for writing it - I needed it today - and it meant a lot to me. (actually teary eyed, I am a mush)
5 comments:
"I discovered a long time ago that a good photographer needs to be in love with their subject if they are to truly capture a glimpse of its soul."
This is interesting in the light of Fedora's question on YouTube about "people falling in love with you" and your answer to that question. It seemed to me that people falling in love with you is not a problem in general, as long as those people are capable of "loving from afar" (which could mean only a few feet away at times, if it's somebody you work with, but I think you get the idea) and willing to do so. And part of me was thinking, it's actually a good thing, even a necessary thing, as this message suggests. Who better to capture what's truly beautiful and powerful in your image than somebody who is in love with you?
Wow - more than a tad effuse, but nonetheless poignant and worthy of comment . .
While experiencing life in its "rawest" form can be developmental, it can also leave you with some serious and lasting burns. So while enjoying the ride, don't compromise on principles, don't settle for second best, and most of all - be careful out there. Oh, and don't forget to moisturize!
On a personal note . . .
I stumbled across your work and your journey earlier this year. What I saw was my wife (there are some striking resemblances, not all physical), sans the multiple sclerosis that has robbed her of so much. I saw so many shots that we wanted to have taken, but did not and now probably cannot. There are a number of other "I saws", but for now let's leave it with - Thanks for the vicarious thrills!
No one has actually fallen in love with my\e through photography alone - I wouldn't believe it, even if you showed it to me....
Backing up to Fedora's question on YouTube - the truth is that I had no idea how to answer that particular question. In my full youtube video (because every video is at least 10 minutes long, and then edited down) - I went into a big long thing about how photographers never actually fall in love with you - they are in love with image of you.... they fall in love with the high of the session and how good it all comes together. From that feeling, there have been several scary stalkers - but that is not love, not in the least..
I will say this - I am a very good actress. I have done photo sessions where I am pissed off - bored out of my mind - scared out my mind - terrified even. And I get the photos back - and I can see nothing of that in my eyes at all. How creepy is that? How fucking creepy is that....that I, myself, cannot even see that in photos where I am I am terrified.... in some respects it is not "love".. just great acting skills...
Believe me... I know you can get burned when you are trying to see things in their "rawest" form. Happened far too many times.... if you read between the lines in many of my entries - you will see that. I read once (actually in that book that I have yet to finish - Conversations with God)... that the only thing that the soul yearns to do is Experience itself. I am so addicted to seeing everything, doing everything, experiencing everything once... and just once... That I have put myself in some of the most compromising positions that you could possibly or impossibly imagine.... Not even going to lie, I scare myself sometimes - but it has also pushed me to places that I never would have thought about.
Your wife sounds like an amazing lady, Ben - multiple sclerosis is a shitty thing to deal with....
London, this comment captured some of the thoughts I have had, albiet about twenty times more wordy!
The question I have is how are you going to go next year at school which may be a little less exciting?
Loving the journey too!
Graham from Australia
I think I mentioned that I am taking time off to travel Europe - after I get back home. I am really super excited about that - and staying at that hostel a few nights ago really rekindled my interest in doing it.... Hoping to travel for four or five months across seas...
School will always be on hold until I want to settle down more..... I know that education is important - but it will be there when I am done "doing my thing" - I want to do it when I am 100% ready for a non-nomadic life...
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