Skipped the Redwoods - I love those trees, but in the end, I could just not drive that route.... Last year, I attached some lonely stigma to Highway 101 - It was right after Burning Man, right after my crazy mental breakdown (guess I have about one every year) - Matt and I had no more money left and I had no work.... the weather was cold and cloudy.... sitting here on Jim's back porch, it is still cold and cloudy - nothing has changed much. Matt was trying to decide if he was going to fly back to NYC and I was not sure if the roadtrip was going to continue... I remember 101 being completely beautiful but I also remember being so lonely, I just wanted to throw myself into the ocean....
I could not make myself do it this year.... the feeling I got looking at the highway on my map was enough to make me steer clear of it. I try to convince myself .....with new places and new experiences that certain things did not bother me or did not effect me.... but they did. When I re-visit these certain places, I remember the way that they felt the year previously - this place was a really dark time for me.... and I do not even think my friends could understand it.... I do not think that even I can understand it....On a happier note, choosing to take Interstate 5 was a great idea! Because it took up through Shasta - it also brought me to Eugene, where my mom grew up.... I found another hot spring area, in the freezing rain, a mile walk into a lush green forest, full of beautiful people who looked like nymphs, steam rising off the pools...people from all over the world, as far as Peru - I spent hours there... got into Portland really late, around midnight....
Portland is kind of like 101, it is a really dark place for me - Very excited for the people that I am working with his week, but believe me when I say I cannot wait to get out of this city..... I wish Matt was here, I think he remembers how this was....
7 comments:
yeah I wanted it to be filled with love like it was supposed to be but it ended up being an empty beauty but it was not the trees fault or highways fault it was mine, its funny new york seems to be falling apart for me I had a head ache and my head was in a complete cloud like I was trying to find relief and only found more grey then i read your blog It gave me a little bit of clarity today, thank you jlo I love you......................................................................................
Great shoot today, London. You're absolutely one of the best models I've had the pleasure of working with over the 30 years I've been shooting. Hope to see you again on Friday night.
I totally agree.... it was just a sad time for both of us, I think. I wanted to love it like we loved everything else - but god, it was so cold and it was sad.... what was that? Sitting on the beach, in the dark, looking at nothing.... and feeling so empty that night. I remember you waking up crying a lot, and then you slept for days while I worked... it was so depressing. I could not do the highway without you - Sad you could not have done the other route, it was gorgeous and it was warm and full of cows that walk... ha. I love walking cows... they make me almost drive off the road in euphoria...
It's too late for you to ever join the roadtrip again and it makes me really sad... that was the last chance for it .... hope you are well in NYC. I miss that place like no other place.... I miss the feeling that are involved with that.
And yes, Mark - Great shoot! I hope we get to hang out on Friday, indeed.... : ) I could use your wife, and your daughter, and yourself for some company .... if you feel used, you probably are being used... ha. I need company big-time....
Hey girl> I have a lot of packages here for you. I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot believe the weather is so crappy still!!!!! Supposed to clear up and sun out this weekend. yay! We can do whatever you want. Not sure if you are working, playing, both. I have been taking it easy lately. Call me and let me know when you are coming into town. 620-388-1925. Shasta is the shit. Love camping in near there. I am taking a tour through NO cali and would love to hear about some romantic places like that naked Disneyland you were speaking of.
Hey sexy Fedora... : ) So happy that people sent packages! New music is so needed, thanks for letting me have them shipped to your place - that was really awesome of you. My schedule when I first get to Seattle is insane, I basically work and never sleep, think I get in on Sunday around 10pm, either way I will call you a day before - 18th-20th are open for just hanging out... leave out of Seattle for Alaska on the 21st...
So so excited about meeting you - you'll have to tell me all about your traveling and seeing Judas (I miss him lots) See you in less than a week! Whooo!
You changed your schedule and didnt tell me!
I am going to Portland on the 20th. Catching a train downtown at 530pm. I am not kicking you out, though. Reed will be here that last evening.
Sorry about that.... yea, I had to change a few things. The cruise dates departure dates were set between the 19th-22nd... and the lady called me two days ago to tell me that my departure date would be the 21st....
I think I will be seeing you tomorrow night... : ) I'll call you when I know....!! yay! You are the last model off fivenakedmodels that I have not met... so it is like a "moment"... ha
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