Orcas Island: Complete heaven....

... complete and total heaven. I never want to leave.... It is warm here and there are otters in the bay, I can smell my campfire, my bed is deliciously surrounded by fuzzy Europeans, with cute accents, who love to travel (we are sleeping in bunk rooms!). It is going to take a hell of a lot to get me to make me leave this gorgeous place and visit Vancouver on Monday...

Climbed Mt Constitution this afternoon, talk about a killer hike. Walking up is painful and getting down is even more difficult... great views though, you actually hike above the cloud-line... so when you look out, it is all islands, cloud fluff, sun.. People often ask me about what is your "favorite city" in the US or where is the "most beautiful place you have ever traveled" - As of today, I can honestly say that Orcas Island IS the "most beautiful place" that I have ever visited in the US. They grow the majority of their own food, right here on the island. Everything is natural.... even the gas stations sell organic foods, kombucha, veggies.... So many canoes and kyacks... the waitresses are dreadlocked hippies, with  melting smiles that can make you dizzy.... So many trees here, the air is so fresh, it is like I never knew air until I traveled to this place.... When I die - Heaven will be this island.... I am sure of it.

Vancouver tomorrow (maybe?)... Doubtful

Welcome to Victoria...

 What to say? I am extremely happy about getting back to Seattle tomorrow - I want my car and I want my freedom back. While Alaska is amazing; the cruise ship was not adventure. That was absolutely the worst way to see Alaska..... Four hours to eight hours in a port - is nothing at all. Especially when they drop you off with 10 blocks of commercial shit to wade though... the jewelry, the diamonds, the cheesy Alaskan shirts with moose on them - the fur companies and the leather companies..... and eventually if you can manage to wade through all that.... maybe you will find what used to exist of a small town in Alaska.... maybe.... I sound like a whiny little kid.... I am sorry. I will stop. 

 As for Alaska itself - the place is like a dream. This morning I was drinking my coffee on the back deck and a pod of orcas surfaced about 30 feet from where I was sitting. No one else was around (it was freezing outside)... just me, a cup of coffee, and seven killer whales.... the water was so glassy.... the whales are so silent and beautiful. It was a moment. Right now I am sitting in someone's lawn, with my computer plugged into their back deck, watching the sun go down in Victoria ... they have no idea that I am here, they probably will never know that I was here.... Hoping to make it to Doe Bay tomorrow...

Juneau

Ok, I am going to keep my blogging really brief, because I just arrived in Juneau- and I have a million different things I want to do- including Mendenhall Glacier and climbing that incredibly majestic mountain right across the street.  

Wifi on the Ship is totally off-the-charts stupid ridiculous - it is .75 a minute or you can buy 250 minutes for $100.... no way in hell - so I will just have to keep locating little places with internet in every port of call....

Cruises are like Disney Land.... I know I should have expected it. I mean, I am having a great time - It is a great experience and I am happy to have the chance to experience it. But is packed with empty-fun, do you know what mean by that? Tons of fun things to do - but empty? Art Auctions, Wine Tasting, Line Dancing, Jewelry Sales.... I wish that I had not been so stressed out three weeks ago - I should have just put my car on the ferry to Alaska and camped on deck with a bunch of other travelers - the scenery is so fucking mindblowing here - I want to enjoy it with people who love it with everything they have, it is so beautiful.... Been hanging out with the staff members from Chili, they are great company - we hang out after hours, I help them pick up the tables, they give me free drinks, we trade stories till 2am, it is a great time....

FNM and Cruisin...

So I did it - Announced my last post for FiveNakedModels youtube channel this afternoon. Feel bad because I adore all the girls. But when the FiveNakedModel's website goes live - dealing with all the profit sharing, contracts, tax forms and stuff like that - is just not me at all. Feel as though they are all a little disappointed... hope it does not ruin any friendships. 

In other news.... tomorrow is my Alaskan cruise!!!! I am super excited about it - I have my own little cabin with two beds that I can jump back and forth on. Yay!

Doing well with scheduling this month - Booked as far as July 20th and as far as Chicago - it is going to be a rush to get back to NY in time for Family Vacation but it is really gratifying knowing that I do not have to worry about scheduling for awhile.

Tracy, a model friend from Tucson, is going to be joining me somewhere in Minneapolis and will drive all the way back to Syracuse with me. It is going to be awesome to have someone to travel with again.

Been in Seattle for almost a week now with Fedora..... I kidnapped her the other day and we drove out to Olympic National Park - the drive was beautiful, the mustang got to ride a ferry, we drove through forests that were so prehistorically beautiful - it hurt your eyes to see so much greenery. Was sadly disappointed with Olympic Hot Springs, which turned out to be smelly, dirty, disgusting - with about four inches of sulfurous black muck. Luckily, the hike was really beautiful with wooden bridges over raging white waters - very National Geographic-like.

London Has Got Some Mail....

Geeze, that was like Christmas or something!!!

Few nights ago, Fedora, Reed and I gathered in a circle - I opened the packages that people sent from all over the US. Aside from the fact that I now have enough great music to last me the next five years of my life (you guys are amazing, seriously) - there were lots of other fun things tossed into the mix..... Photos from Alaska, postcards, a video cord, re-writable cds - someone even sent me a Scooby Doo stuffed animal which was dressed like a cop that had just gotten back from a trip to Hawaii?

For those of you who wrote letters, I thank you for your words - For those of you who sent cds, I cannot wait to see what I will be listening to driving through Canada.....

As much as I want to, I will not be able to write everyone individually to thank them - There were too many packages to keep everything straight. So please take this blog as my Thank You for going out of your way to help with the trip.... meant a lot to me to see all that love as a giant pile of music....


Photo Credits: TH Taylor (who I get to see in July!!! Hell Yes!!)

Seattle....

Worked with a photographer who was a total nutcase. Par-a-noid! He was obviously very uncomfortable with me being in his house. Kept peering out his window and unlocking and re-locking the doors - over and over. Not in a creepy way, but in an Obsessive compulsive disorder way. He would take three photos, rush over to his window, and fidget with the corner of his drapes, "The neighbors know what I am doing - I know they know. They can see in the windows." I was on super high alarm level (closest to the door, all my stuff packed up, ready to leave if needed) but really enjoying the early-morning-entertainment - About twenty minutes into the shoot - he headed into his garage, emerged with a toppling armload of cardboard boxes with which he began stacking carefully in front of the windows. Just stacking them.... six foot towers of empty boxes. After he finished his project of blocking off the windows - he thrust $500 into my hand and announced he just could not shoot anymore, "Perhaps it is time for you to leave... NO no no! Do not go out the front door, no... the garage!! You need to leave through the garage!!... Jesus! My neighbors!"

Spent the evening with a photographer and his family. Went to a local pub and I got to order a grilled cheese sandwich - forgot how delicious those things are. I could even probably cook that sometime.... well, you know... if I had a kitchen. 

Do any of your remember the ridiculous custom that I got for the Vampire Shoe Salesman? Ha, I know Dave in NY will - because we laughed so hard trying to film that stupid thing... For those of you who do not know what I am talking about..... A year ago, a guy contacted me and asked me to film a custom video for him (which I rarely do). It was a five page script about a Vampire who poses as a shoe-sales man, drugs his victims, and then bites their feet. As he bites their feet - his victims have long drawn out orgasms, and eventually they die, he steals their toe rings.... Seemed easy enough... a friend of mine and I got together to try to film it - but we could just not stop laughing.... it was just too ridiculous .. Anyways, a week or two ago a model-friend contacts me and asks me if I would be up to doing this custom - it is about a vampire who is a shoe sales man who bites feet.... : ) So I finally shot it - shot it with Wednesday Harrington and Marvel Girl.... 

Was shooting with LostBets the other day, and I had to answer the door naked for a pizza guy.... which reminded me of the time that I got dared to put on a friend's strap-on 10-inch dong and answer the door naked.... god that was funny, that lady's eye almost popped right out of her skull.... oh good times.... I am now in Seattle - lots of work this week, staying with Fedora for a few days... really excited! Cruisin on the 21st.... Photos are compliments of Mr. Mike Long out of Portland.

Know what I do when I get homesick?

........I go see a movie. ...... Because when you are sitting in a movie theater, you could be anywhere...

Three days now - still cloudy in Portland. Went to go see Sex in the City yesterday. Struck of conversation with this cute guy behind the popcorn counter.... ate free popcorn. After the movie, he slipped me a note with his number and a little shining smiley drawing of a sun... which said underneath, "Bring the Sun Out." That has to be close to the cutest thing that a guy has slipped me with his number on it... 'first place' goes to number written on a band-aid. A Band-Aid - I still have it, somewhere.

Saw a truck this morning full of donkeys. It said, "Hauling Ass" on the side.

Ex-nay on the Redwoods-eh

Skipped the Redwoods - I love those trees, but in the end, I could just not drive that route.... Last year, I attached some lonely stigma to Highway 101 - It was right after Burning Man, right after my crazy mental breakdown (guess I have about one every year) - Matt and I had no more money left and I had no work.... the weather was cold and cloudy.... sitting here on Jim's back porch, it is still cold and cloudy - nothing has changed much. Matt was trying to decide if he was going to fly back to NYC and I was not sure if the roadtrip was going to continue... I remember 101 being completely beautiful but I also remember being so lonely, I just wanted to throw myself into the ocean....

I could not make myself do it this year.... the feeling I got looking at the highway on my map was enough to make me steer clear of it. I try to convince myself .....with new places and new experiences that certain things did not bother me or did not effect me.... but they did. When I re-visit these certain places, I remember the way that they felt the year previously - this place was a really dark time for me.... and I do not even think my friends could understand it.... I do not think that even I can understand it....

On a happier note, choosing to take Interstate 5 was a great idea! Because it took up through Shasta - it also brought me to Eugene, where my mom grew up.... I found another hot spring area, in the freezing rain, a mile walk into a lush green forest, full of beautiful people who looked like nymphs, steam rising off the pools...people from all over the world, as far as Peru - I spent hours there... got into Portland really late, around midnight....

Portland is kind of like 101, it is a really dark place for me - Very excited for the people that I am working with his week, but believe me when I say I cannot wait to get out of this city..... I wish Matt was here, I think he remembers how this was....

Heaven on Earth

Always have been a big fan of Hot Springs. You cannot really go wrong with them - they are usually placed somewhere totally unbelievably gorgeous, surrounded by half-naked people, all soaking in this constantly flowing water source from deep within the earth. I had mentioned to a photographer a few days ago that I was going to check out some hot springs while traveling through Northern Cali - He recommended a spring called Orr. Looking up Orr, I came across the familiar name of Harbin.... It jogged my memory, that last year I had promised a Burner that if I ever returned to California that I would take the trip to Harbin.... So I did decide on Harbin.... And I have never been to a place so calming and spiritual ... As soon as I pulled up and started to set up my tent - someone was coming over to help me. The grounds are a utopia...  free yoga in the morning, chanting classes, free drumming circles, a grocery store, a small vegan cafe, and a kitchen where anyone can go to cook their own food.... My tent was popped next to a bubbling stream.... All the animals around Harbin are not frightened by humans, not even the wild turkeys... which I woke up to the next morning popping their heads into my tent. I guess you feel like you are in a naked Disney movie.... yes, that is it. Food from the trees, animals following you around, people all smiling and warm.... I made a new friend, his name is Ethan - he promised me that he would do nothing but be my friend for as long as I wanted - Which is exactly what he did. He invited me to come back to Berkley with him and share his crop of raspberries. I wish my schedule was not quite as busy because it would have been a nice back trek -but alas - Berkley is not an option right now, lots of work in Portland. Talking to him fixed something in me, does that sounds weird? Perhaps it was the springs mixed with good conversation, but I definitely feel a lot better than I did a few days ago - Still cannot believe that he has been attending Burning Man for over fourteen years (it would be sixteen if he did not miss a year).

It is so hard for me to trust men. I am happy that I have Ethan as a buddy.

Postcard moment.....

I swear to god, the mustang and I found ourselves right in the middle of a postcard moment this afternoon. If it was possible to hang a little pre-licked stamp over Mt Shasta, her sunny happy rolling rivers, her perfectly fluffy Windows XP clouds - I would have done it - Sent it right off to my mom with love.... wow. 

 Sha-sta - new favorite word. I love the way it feels..... A pet, a daughter, the name of a flower, a reggae band

San Fran....

Decided on the Alaskan cruise.. Booked it this morning. I am beyond excited..... you cannot even understand how stoked I am about being able to go on that trip....

San Fran has been quite crazy. In order to conserve some cash, I stayed with probably my first and last myspace person... that was quite the trip. Went to go see Zombie Strippers together in a theater called The Speakeasy, this little dive place where you can sit on couches and drink pitchers of beer with tons of cool people (great movie by the way - nothing like Jenna, strippers, and zombies). He gave me keys to his house, - everything was going great. Until I came to the realization that he was just hoping to get laid - once I told him that it was not going to happen - he basically kicked me out of his apartment (so he could invite someone over to get laid with)....

Last night I hung out with a kid that I met at Coachella a few weeks back.... Mr. Mike D. We had been in touch here and there, decided to hang out while I was in town... He drove out to Oakland and picked me up after work, went to his place in San Fran, met his roommate, celebrated his 27th birthday all night..... Full of hookahs, Asian belly dancers, bars on fire, flying raccoons. Watched Entourage at 3am, had someone to cuddle with for awhile who did not grope me (well, too much). He let me crash on his couch. This morning we caught a bus to the Haight-Ashbury district, grabbed some lunch.... it was a nice break in the schedule....

Tomorrow is Chi - Rue 99.... And it is a very early morning shoot. Headed up to the Redwoods tomorrow afternoon - might try to stop at Orr springs, maybe camp there instead - maybe check out Napa if I have time.... no idea where I will end up over the next few days - not shooting until Wednesday in Portland - so I have all kinds of time to waste.... and when I say 'waste' - I mean spend quality time doing beautiful things. ha

My heart is your heart

Go into the world, live in the body of sorrows and feel the photons of the starry night stroking your brow. You are the Goddess, you are the warrior, you are the truth, and the way warrior Goddess. Into the night with you. Stop by any time, my heart is your heart, your soul is the soul of the world. It is not easy but then you are power not understood.

Timmers the oddly strange.

Always enjoy receiving mail from Tim.... good friend, in a good place in my world.

Alaska....

So I have finally started booking for Alaska - only to realize that there is no way that financially I can pull this off. Gas is over $4.50 Canadian in Edmonton right now, even worse further north. I do not have enough jobs between now and then to fund it. On top of that, you have my car which is falling apart and a drive that is about 24 hours long without Triple A or cell service.... might even be a few dirt roads to deal with as well. After figuring gas, lodging, food, and the time it is going to take just to get up there and back.... the trip is going to cost about $1500-1600 roundtrip... and that is about $1000 that I cannot produce...

... so I started thinking about other options. Been checking out cruise lines. Found a few that have decent reviews. You can do a 7-day trip $600-900 total. So here is my question... do you think it would be cheating to turn in my wheels for a week and jump on a cheap cruise line out of Port Vancouver? Or do you think I should try to raise the money, fix my car, buy a temporary Canadian cell phone, and just say to hell with it and drive for a week?

I ask you because I am completely torn between both options.... Looking at the drive on google makes me cringe but the cruise line
seems like cheating... I am not sure what to do. I need to decide by tomorrow at the latest, though...

Death Valley and the 13 hour drive...

Not sure if you ever watch five naked models - but Samantha brought up a great point this week - I think it happens to all of us. As a model, you love the attention when you first start modeling - you feed off the compliments, and then a few months in you grow to resent the attention - and if you are me, you grow to hate it. I mean.. When a guy walks up to me in a bar or a gas station or my hotel to tell me that he is into me, my first reaction is to vomit - I suppose that is not the best way to meet people though - so I am working on it.

Made it to Death Valley and Sequoia - drove 13 hours yesterday - just about died as I pulled into Stockton California.... super tired. Still have two more shoots tonight... and then San Fran! Hope everyone is doing well...

Sweet Gypsy Highway.....

Two weeks ago, I pulled up to a military recruitment center at a mall with plans of joining the army. Yes, that is how much I lost my mind - Basically I just wanted someone to tell me what to do with my life.... Half way through a conversation, though - I realized that I was in an army recruitment center.... so, I left and bought a Jamba Juice instead. Things were good after 

When I first met Tracy, I just figured she was another wanna-be model - there are tons of girls who write me every month asking for advice or what they should do to break into the industry - sometimes I try my best to help them out, sometimes I do not. They come and go. But Tracy is going to stick, I feel it... She is beautiful with a great sense for business. As a person, I really love and respect who she is - hoping that when I return from Canada, she will join up with the roadtrip.... She could use the photos for her portfolio; I could use the company.

Jet skis on rough waters and riding a Mule down the Grand Canyon does a number on your ass! So sore, let me tell you. Grand Canyon was great. When Pat broke up with me, I figured the least I could do for myself - was to take the money that I was going to spend on a plane ticket and spend it on something memorable that I normally would never do for myself.... Ten minutes after canceling my Cleveland ticket, I bought a round trip ticket to the bottom of the Canyon on the back of a mule. Ha. Totally random - not even sure why I chose that particular thing.

I met a beautiful man from Germany who owns a boat company in the Carribean - He just travels all over the world... There were also two guys that got to the bottom on the Canyon at 11pm at night, with nothing but the light of an ipod - thank god for technology, huh?