Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Howl at the Moon!

While I am not going to BurningMan.... there are still some wonderfully exciting things to do in Austin!  Last night, I attended the full moon dance party at Barton Springs - Howl At the Moon was *SO* much fun! About twice as many people than this video and they had a live Xylophone Band.. And everyone was howling like werewolves... #goodtimes

Friday, August 20, 2010

Finding an apartment...

Months ago, the roommates and I talked about moving together - But last week, John and Bryn came home to tell us that they found a place and were moving without us.... It was that roommate break-up conversation, "It is not you, it is us. We need more space. We want to be on our own..."  Blah blah blah...

Congrats to them on the new place - but it truly left Pat and I in a bind. Only two weeks notice - no extensions on the lease.... Pat and I first considered getting a one bedroom home. We looked at a few places, but they were either too expensive or the move-in date was not until mid-September. We considered looking for roommates again.... but with the deadline being so close and all ... we decided against it..... Sooooo we started looking into apartment complexes...

....... Dreaded dreary mass-produced apartment complexes *puke*.....

I always said.... never... in my life... would I live in an apartment complex... ever...

But not even kidding, there are some really nice ones in South Austin, right next to the Zilker Park/GreenBelt trailhead. The apartment complex we moved into is called The Woods - Obvious reason for the name? Apartments were built around the trees, we live inside a forest... The Woods was built in 1940's and was recently renovated... There is a pool, fitness center, computer center, and tennis court. Pat and I found this great 1 bedroom, 680 sq ft, with loft ceilings and a balcony.  It has brand new carpet, washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a pantry, a walkin closet (for all my sexy clothes.... rawr!), even an ice-cube maker!  We are high rolling, now... oh yeaaaa - I am having SO much fun putting the place together.... It is nice being able to buy things, knowing that I can put them where ever I want. Bought the coolest ikea bookshelves off craigslist for $40 - Something about owning two, seven foot bookshelves, makes me feel like I finally own something worthwhile.

I *do* feel guilty about Perry, though - I don't want to let her outside until she gets used to the new place.... She is usually so active, and now she is just bored.  She watches me paint.  Her head moves up with the brush and moves back down. She follows me around the house, like a game of follow-the-leader. She sleeps on the fridge. She sleeps in the pantry. She sleeps in the laundry.... Poor Perry....

Monday, August 16, 2010

Lease is up....

When Pat and I first moved to Austin, we had a horrific time trying to find a place to live...

Not a big mystery as to why.... We were not exactly the most perspective housemates. After we relocated, Pat was jobless.... I have this modeling career that is very difficult to explain to civilians... Plus, it is nearly paperless (no proof of income). We were looking for a petfriendly house that would be cool with Motel-Cat-Perry (who, after being on the road for two months, still did not have her shots) - Jobless and traveling with a dirty motel cat ...it got worse, because Pat and I were also moving in as a couple!... Not many housemates will take in couples, too much drama comes with bad relationships...

With the odds set against us, we sent out eighty emails ... heard back from four people: The lady with the smelly house, 'gated apartment complex' guy, lady with the fiesty Rottweiler that would have Nom-Nomed on Perry's little cat head, and then John and Bryn....

Thinking back on it, if John and Bryn had not answered our email.... I have no idea where Pat and I would have ended up.  We would have been stuck in San Antonio, living in the dark guest bedroom, at Tim Summa's for months - Instead, we moved into a really nice 1950's house, on a quiet road, off of 2222 and Lamar, $225 a person - A big backyard, driveway, nice front porch with sunflowers in our front lawn.... Perry spends her time catching cockroaches and lizards. My bedroom gets more light than the entire house - I find that it is impossible to wake up on the wrong side of the bed... Mornings here are full of sunlight and just make me incredibly happy, especially if Patrick is still cuddled up in bed next to me...

Sad part about this whole story, is that this house is truly falling apart (electric is sketch, toilet doesn't work properly, air conditioning sucks, ceilings cracked, doors are settling in the wrong places).... When John and Bryn signed the lease, it was for a single year - The landlord plans to have the place demolished this summer....  With that said.... The lease is up in two and half weeks... We need to be out on September 1st..

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Dear London:


Kristal: "Dear London - I want to be you when I grow up. How do I make that happen? Thanks, Kristal"

London: "Hey Kristal, Easy! All you have to do is love kitties and try to make it to BurningMan once a year.... : ) Ha.. Then... perhaps... you shall become I..."

  Kristal: "Damn, thats where i have been going wrong! I've been loving men and burning kitties all these years! - Just wanted to say that your breath taking - Thank you for showing that 'thick' is marketable. It gives me hope that I have a place in this industry.. "

Monday, August 9, 2010

WoolyBully

My brain is frizzled from lack of sleep and abuse from alcohol - but lets see if I can write a blog.

FetishCon - As with any kind of convention - I truly feel that your initial experience is the most intense - It shapes your perception and sets a precedent for everything that follows - The newness is exciting, curiosity is tempting....

But I do find, that after the first introduction....

A bit of the glitter gets lost....

But that is how I feel about most things.

.....I call this "jaded"

Most memorable year at FetCon was my first - 2006. I was 22 - I knew no one, no one knew me.....  That was the year, I walked through the main lobby, saw a guy dressed as a human horse, pulled his tail and found out it was a 10 inch butt plug (ouch!). That was also the year that I drank wine out of a bullhorn, got invited to an offsite concert, jumped into a car with a very drunk guy I did not know, drove 20 miles, and realized, half way to the show, that he was running drugs to the band .... bag of coke, bag of meth, bag of E, backpack was brimming... He was swerving on the road. I was scared. Slipknot invited us on the bus, they gave me some shots of vodka, I sat on someone's lap, someone kissed me - Later, I begged a stranger for a ride home, I think he thought I was a prostitute, he kept preaching about the Church... I hated my FetCon roommate that year - She was smart, beautiful, a graduate from Harvard.... she fucked guys for money and she locked me out on nights I came home too late - I was saturated with FetCon, smothered by it - I left my hotel Sunday morning, walked five blocks, ate lunch in a dead hotel.... My waiter and I rolled silverware together - I confided in him how horrifying the Hyatt was - Diaper-bears (the hairy guys my roommate was sessioning with in urine-stained Diapers) and the sissy ladies with balloon boobs - He left me and returned with two giant water bottles full of Rum and Coke to cope.... His name was Max.  Max was awesome....

That year - I was alone, shocked, excited, and alive
That year - I was also pathetically naive and self-destructive...

FetCon 2010 - Things have changed (not necessarily for better or worse): I know tons of people these days and tons of people know me - Fetcon, has become a lot like an extended family - This is the only time of year that I feel like I have 'co-workers' - Beautiful girls that I can hang out with, talk shop with, compare notes on photographers, exchange wardrobe, go out to dinner with...

FetCon still has the ability to shock me sometimes, though...

For example, three hours ago, I wore a strap-on dildo.... underneath a woolly pencil skirt and demanded that my well-paying Eskimo slave suck "woolybully lama cock on camera...".... Not my usual cup of tea but I can say, that if anyone ever asks me for the weirdest moment of my life... It goes like this:  I am looking down .... at this 40 year old man, wearing a barbie pink woolen sweater. There are knitted woolen sheep jumping across his fake tits... There are mousetraps hanging from his fake nipples.  I am thrusting my wool covered latex cock in his face and telling him "Suck my woolybully lama cock...." Wool fibers hang from his lips - And the videocamera ... just... keeps... rolling....