Sunday, October 24, 2010

Joplin, Kansas City, Omaha, Milwaukee

As my new buddy, Doug in Joplin MO, would say, "It isn't a London Andrew's trip unless it is last minute and unorganized...." - Alas, that statement is very true.... The Midwest did not pan out for me as well as I hoped.... I found very little work between Dallas and Milwaukee - Not sure if this is because I booked it last minute (within two weeks notice), if the economy is bad, if it is the Midwest, or if it is just me.... I don't know.... either way, the drive has been incredibly beautiful .... and... As usual, I am incredibly broke...

Joplin was fun! Had the chance to hang with some new friends and we watched 4am Pumpkin Carving on TV. Kansas City was cold but the coffee shops were warm!  Our couchsurfer was an energy healer..... In Omaha, I had the chance to shoot in one of the most gorgeous historical Bed and Breakfast places I have ever visited... Andrew Baran was his talented amazing self, we shot some fantastic new stuff together.... He also shot a bunch of photos of Matthew (I included most of the photos in this blog).... Cannot wait to see what else we created! Matt and I went to check out LCD Soundsystem and HotChip on Friday night - The show was phenonminal...


thornyminx said...

London, you are one of the most beautiful women in the world, I would kill to have your body. I think most women would! Not to most men probably finding you much more attractive than a 6ft size 0 type.

Your curves are so much more feminine and more sexy that those stick insects they call models. You are the right weight and build for you. Some people are meant to be slender and boy shaped, you're not. I know how it is to feel crap about your appearance and to be depressed. But if a genie came up to me right now and said "you can have a body like anyone in the world" I'd choose yours!

You are wonderful, fabulous & sexy in both body and mind, please don't forget it!

Alex said...

They're just haters. You'll be alright because you're relentlessly awesome and you make it look easy.

Anonymous said...

Maybe your heart's not in it, anymore. You already know it... this is obvious, but the only thing that can make you into a loser is self-doubt. If assholes step on your feelings or try to take advantage of you, don't give them the satisfaction, simply tell them to fuck off. Thousands of fans will certainly back you up on this.
Eaux de Spoon

PD said...

If everyone was the same, there would be nothing unique. Nothing to catch everyone and say WOW! Look at that! Everything would just be blah.
We all have bad days. Don't let that one get to you. Just because those that supposedly know and don't see, doesn't mean its not there. There is a whole bunch of us that do know and see. Their loss.
How are you going to get through today? You just be yourself.
Hope today is a good one for you. Sending out hugs and smiles.
Remember, you need us you got us.

Evangeline Von Winter said...

London London London....
I love you.
Willie Loves you.
Even our son who hates everyone loves you.
You are a beautiful person both inside an out. I think you are gorgeous and I I were a man I would hit that!
Not only are you beautiful outside but your beautiful inside. I have seen drop dead gorgeous women have the ugliest souls. I book them and then want them to leave my house before they soil the vibe.
You my dear are genuine, gracious, flirtatious, wonderful gorgeous, and a true spirit. Yours is a soul the planet is proud of.
You care for animals, and even some human animals.
you rescue out of your nature. you dont nurture out of guilt but out of love.
You are the truest woman i have ever met and I count myself lucky knowing you.

I would shoot you everyday if i could.
Dont let your clothes dictate how you feel about yourself.
You are a star! a brilliant beautiful star.
Who is some jerk to think you dont belong there.
Those who dont choose to shoot with you are the ones who loose. Your portfolio is enough to see that.
I love you girl.
Dont you dare think about quitting unless its something your spirit tell you to do.
Dont let any dumb sub-human push you into re-thinking your life or your body.
Are you healthy girl? do you love your health?
if you chose to loose weight to be healthier then thats one thing, but dont you know that your gorgeous as you are? your smile is brighter than any size 0.
You know what love is, what life is, what joy is, and what happiness is.
Many of those dead behind the eyes girls will never know the joy of watching the sun set over the mountains in the desert before the burning of a giant stuffy!
LOL hold your head up hun.
You are beautiful
thin, thick, or anyway you are.

Bigt1200(from Twitter) said...

That's the most honest story I've read in a while.I know how it is to be unconformable in your body.It is tough at times.But I have great friends and that gets me through a lot of things in life!You are unique model and not a cookie cutter model!You also have to remember 10+photographers in a building does NOT make an industry standard.Everyone knows a London photograph! Maybe someday I will have the pleasure of photographing you when you come to Baltimore!

Trixie Fontaine said...

Oh god . . . that sucks. I'm guessing that even if you WERE one of the size zeros, though, that you would hate being inside the ugly subculture some of those people create for themselves to feel important. It's not you, it's them. You are not to blame for sensing and being depressed by their bullshit. Also, I think no matter how beautiful a person is, if you stick a beauty with one body type next to a beauty of another body type, it often just looks comical; neither beauty is going to feel beautiful or perfect. It's like when you tell a room full of people to sing a note, any note, and they all start singing different notes, our natural inclination is to modulate our voices to bring the note we're singing into tune with everyone else's until eventually everybody is singing the same note.

I know there's nothing I can say to make a shitty experience not-shitty, though. I would be crying in a situation like that.

Samantha Grace said...

London, I totally know how you feel at work shops. I stopped doing them long ago because I had a few similar experiences. The only one that ever felt okay with me was the AZ Shoot Out. That is because it is a new model event and the girls are all different shapes and sizes.

However, I have experienced what you are going through. I'm 5'7" 140 pounds with big boobs. I've been asked to do fashion workshops and I failed. I failed so badly. I remember being upset at one, that I was the only nude model who attended. All the other girls were just beauty models. They only did implied nudes. I did full nudes. I had one guy shoot with me. While the others were lining up to shoot with the girls who were 100 pounds and flat chested. I felt cheap and second rate.

I over heard a few of the guys bitching about my weight. Even if I was looking really thin and fit because I was hitting the gym a lot. What was funny was, the models at the event didn't have a portfolio that was as extensive as mine. All the guys where too busy trying to talk them into doing nude. I think I made a total of $50 from the workshop. For a full day of work. After that I refuse to do another workshop.

Don't worry. I've been there. I am not have the body you have. But I will admit, deep down I always kind of wanted to look like you. I really think you have such an amazing figure. I wouldn't want you to be skinnier. You would lose your big beautiful breasts, that super thin waist, and that round ass. No, one has an ass like you! There are a lot of girls who want to be like you. I hear it all the time. Models who say, I wish I had London's waist.

Anonymous said...

just because those photographers seem to embrace only a narrow form of what beauty is doesn't mean you have accept it. Don't let their opinions make you feel inadequate, you know you're a stunning woman and have had plenty of people tell you so. Those people just had a different definition of what a beautiful person is: ultra thin, vapid, and rich, and that ain't you and be glad that it isn't cause the rest of the world would take you over their type any day

one more thing, from your previous blog posts and your answer to my question on formspring, doing artwork seems to put you in a good mood. So my advice is to go pick up a paint brush, pencil and paper, hell even crayons and get to work creating something. I find doing that kinda stuff really helps when you feel like crap

jef said...

When i begin to take some pics of my best friend, i show her some of your work.
She took up the challenge while saying it would never happen to give the same impression as you!
in fact she even told me she was jealous of you! finally instead of your beauty and your charm!
let the idiots behind you!
and thank you for all the inspiration you gave us!!!

jef said...

When i begin to take some pics of my best friend, i show her some pics of you.
She took up the challenge while saying it would never happen to give the same impression as you!
in fact she even told me she was jealous of you! finally instead of your beauty and your charm!
let the idiots behind you!
and thank you for all the inspiration you gave us

Me said...

My dear, as a woman I find your body very sexy. I would love to have your beautiful breasts! Please embrace the beauty that you are and shake off the self doubt. It's not worth the time that it takes to put a frown on that pretty face. xx

Me said...

My dear, as a woman I find your body very sexy and I would love to have your killer rack!:) Please embrace your body and your beauty and shake off that self doubt. It's a waste of your energy to put a frown on that pretty face! You are stronger than that.

Trevor said...

I know this will mean nothing to you seeing as how it's coming from a faceless, nameless nonentity but I don't see how you can possibly doubt yourself. You seem to have everything going for you. You are caring, compassionate, artistic, articulate, an amazing writer and an adventurous spirit. You have already lived a richer, fuller existence in your relatively short life than I ever could hope to.

On top of all that, you are by far the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. Your face, your body, your curves are nothing short of spectacular. Looking at you, I feel as if I am a member of an inferior species.

Judging by the popularity of your blog, I'm obviously not the only one who feels this way.

Who cares what some douchy photographer thinks? I doubt he's exactly another Richard Avedon or even an Annie Leibowitz.

It's perfectly understandable if you feel a little down now and then. But don't lose faith in yourself. You have too many wonderful qualities to ever question yourself or your beauty.

I do have one question, though -- and if it's too personal or uncomfortable, you can choose not to answer it. You mentioned somewhere near the beginning of your post that you are broke. While I realize that this trip may not have been as profitable as you would have hoped -- and I know your traveling expenses can eat into your bottom line -- from what you've written in some of your past posts it sounds as if you make a lot of money modeling. Plus didn't you say your boyfriend recently got a big raise recently? So it's not exactly like you are one step away from living on the streets, is it?

TimeForAHug said...

As everyone before me already said, London, you're incredibly beautiful and sensuous like heroine chic can never be.

Here's one big hug when you need it. Now drop the sweatpants, let go of the remote and go outside to make more classy shoots for the rest of us to fantasize about!

Danny G said...

I am sorry my hometown is treating you poorly. It is sad to hear that artists are not willing to stretch their boundaries. From what I have seen of local artists, they tend to go with the stick models because everyone else in Milwaukee does the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Those people who you encountered are insecure & little children on the inside. They hide their ineptitude, but a model like yourself is essentially on display. Thusly you're an easy target for the ill informed.

It's a hard market even as an 'thin' nude model. I just hope you to convey that you are a role model to some of the younger nude model crowd and from what I've seen you you are a mainstay for younger nude art models.

The honesty you display on your blog is wonderful and I hope you don't get disheartened by the jerks of society. We all see them, and it's honorable of you to talk openly about them, while most newbies are far too scared to address the issue.

Ultimately, you are gorgeous and god dammit you don't need to fit in a fashion sample size to be a stunner. You're personality shines through your words and your pictures, don't let a few nay-sayers fuck with your chi.

Anonymous said...

I think they must be out of their minds. You have to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Don't let idiots get you down. Just a fan's opinion.

Rex said...

Sorry you have had mixed results on your road trip.
Don't be hard on yourself when confronted with a bunch of skinny wannabee sexy girls. They are victims of conformity.
You are a classic whose beauty resonates down the ages.
We are all who we are and it is only real individuals who have the confidence and courage to glory in the body that they were born with.

Chris said...

Everyone has said, basically, everything I might've said. So instead, to all of the morons who don't get it, a short and simple:

Fuck you.

Henrietta Collins said...

Wow. I can't believe in 2010 we still have shallow assholes out there. And as photographers, they're missing the boat since there are plenty of people who do want to see models like you. I don't know you, but I certainly enjoy looking at you. You look like a woman should look. I wish more women looked like you and didn't feel like they had to succumb to an unrealistic societal norm. Please don't buy into that bullshit from some dickhead photographers. If those guys bothered to look in the mirror, they'd be scared by what stares back because they are empty inside. Maybe workshops aren't your thing, but please don't stop modeling. We need you out there.

TJP said...

I don't know much about the world of high fashion photography, other than it's inhabited by an exceedingly small number of people who are generally ignored. As far as I'm concerned, if someone points a camera at a bunch of "size 0" women, Sally Struthers better be standing in the foreground asking for donations.

I also don't put much stock in lazy photograph-ers who want beauty defined and presented for their convenience, so they can push a shutter release and claim a cliche is high art. Those types tend to define status with the camera equipment they purchase, and know little else besides what money can buy.

Obviously someone else recognizes beauty and expresses a passion to capture the form of those perfectly carved, high cheekbones, flowing hair and delicate wrists--curves which we are compelled to follow with our eyes--and yet it is considered vulgar to stretch an outfit to suggest femininity in a world of "fashion" which values the androgyny of a human coat-hanger as an accessory on which to hang ugly clothes.

You're gorgeous, lady. Don't doubt it.

Scott said...

Come back to Syracuse where you've never been anything but appreciated and loved, not for being a body, or a nude model, but for being a sounding board and a friend.

LaCara said...

You are beautiful London! It doesn't matter how many times you hear it, you have to believe your beautiful, because at the end of the day this is the only body that you have, so embrace it!

You are an amazing model, and you shouldn't have let those nasty people intimidate you! You had every right to be there, because you are just as talented, and beautiful!

I admire your work, you bring something new and fresh to the modelling game!

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' - not everyone will see your beauty, but rest assured marjority will.

Sending you lot's of love and positive vibes!


Cullen said...

I can't believe the situation you were put in here- I think it's ridiculous. ...these silly little people in their silly little insular world. I can't stress how crazy and wrong they are!

I totally wanted to go to the hot chip/lcd show in minneapolis- they even had tickets the same night! But for financial reasons I just neglected not to go. I had already shelled out some pretty penny on records and dvds I don't need earlier in the week. I'm glad you got to see that show!

by the way- I'm Cullen. Just an avid admirer.

semi234 said...

"I am not a fashion model, I am a nude model - I struggled to put an outfit together - A frumpy black dress, a weird scarf, some non-sexy boots. Wardrobe fail."

It all depends on how you spin it. Isn't the fashion industry constantly using full blown nudity in their ads? Like "Oh, this girl is getting out of the shower" being barely covered by a washcloth." Or "check out this purse that that's strategically covering this naked girl."

Exaggerating the point but you get the idea. Then again, it might be just a learning experience not to do those workshops again or approach the wardrobe angle in a different way (maybe taking the fetish approach?).

vikingman said...

coming home from late work 10pm,
lit a fire in the wood burner and browsed Your wonderful blog.
Found this dark post :-(


Warm, loving, open minded to a huge extent

always honest and fair, You live Your life and Your dreams and You love it .
so do we blog readers.

You have created Your own blog with millions of attendants....

Who else can manage this?

You make appointments Yourself and steer the course of Your life Yourself.

You are as wonderful in Your soul, as You are showing off Your wonderful body.

Comparing with others will fail in both ways, They can never live up to the standard You have set to Your life and You won't manage their standards.

There is only one difference:

You tolerate this and they look down on You.
To let this closely into Yourself is wrong.

Unfortunately there is, as You tell, a great number of photographers that don't in the least know how to treat another human respectfully , let alone a lady like You.
blame it on their parents and strange live and not on Yourself, please!

You are so empathic to all people around You, warm, loving and caring.
Together with others, that are not blessed with these virtues, You take up their bad karma, vibes and mood.
BUT actually, it has nothing to do with You.
It's them, not You.
Never forget this please.

Keep those things that make Your heart jump and us smile, reading about it.

Very glad I found this blog some years ago.

speak up if You are in trouble!

hugs from the North


Jim in Huntsville said...

I'm going to beat up on you a little bit. You did the workshop because a friend asked you to. Good for you. It's the kind of person you are. But, you should have done your research: ask about the other models booked, and if they are not like you, then bow out. You are niche model, God bless you, hon. You appeal to men and women who see women as other than flesh sticks with every one of their bones visible. Built for comfort, not for speed. I will bet next week's paycheck that you have a bigger port than three of the other models combined. Stick to what you are good at and your mental health will improve. I promise. If not, come down to H'ville, and I'll give you a long hug. In fact, come on down, we'll shoot and I'll give you a long hug anyway.

Timothy said...

Was in the Liberty St. Bar in Pontiac Monday for the first time since you, Larry, Traci and I were there. Thought some happy thoughts about that time...

Rob said...

London, F# then they are only assholes that think that they are better then everybody else. I been shooting wildlife and macro work for years and started to get into models shoots and things. I dont what to say or how to say it but I still try. Since I have deployed to Iraq a year ago I have not had a chance to shoot any portaits and know I will have to start from square one. Your beautiful and sexy I think you look great and I would love to shoot you some time. You have a great port and who care what they say. The cloths dont make the model the model makes the cloths You rock and dont let them get you down. The US Army loves you. Take care and F# them that cant see you for you beautiful and sexy. Keep up the great work we all love you.

Anonymous said...

fashion industry being full of shallow dickheads shocker. tell them to fuck off, maybe punch one of them on your way out.

Brian Pearson said...

Yes, this is late, but so it is....
You are a unique person in many ways in comparison to the "mainstream" fashion photography industry (or so it appears from the outside).

The models are obsessed about what they think the is ideal the photographers are looking for, frightened that they won't meet the grade.

The photographers are obsessed about what they think is the ideal the industry is looking for so they can sell their pictures, and ignore if not scorn what does not fit their limited paranoid vision.

They both feel the need to ignore, scorn, or lash out at anyone who does not pander to this craziness, someone [rare] like you who has a vision of who they want to be instead of toadying to what someone else says they should be.

So rock on, do what you do, and be who you are. Because your vision is sound (if not million-dollar-money-making) and you are a much more beautiful person, inside and out, than they are. Which scares them, too.

Joanna said...

Aw, hon! I totally understand where you are coming from. Full-figured modeling is a hard market to tap into. I hardly get any work here in the midwest because all the skinny girls (even the unattractive myspace-y ones) are taking the gigs! It's unfortunate, but gals like you are diamonds in the ruff. I didn't tell you this this weekend (for fear of being a total cheeseball), but you're my model idol! I've admired your work as long as I started modeling. Don't let the assholes get you down. You're beautiful inside and out!

PS- totally jealous you got to see LCD!


Anonymous said...

You know that you are a beautiful girl, inside and outside, and you met people who are not and they hurt you. I only hope that this few words will comfort you and help you to forget those people who do not know what is tolerance and open minded spirit. May all your true friends help you to be happy

Paul said...

The way I see it, there is the superficial, shallow end to the modelling industry. Its boring unimaginative and repetitious and its photographers stale. That is what this workshop was and you should not beat up on yourself as you are above all that. You are unique and stunning, these guys wouldn’t know where to start to capture that. I stumbled on your work some time ago and have admired you and the great photographers you have worked with. Don’t let this bother you, recognise it for what it is and move on. :-)