Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009: End of the Year Review

Started the year off in cold snowy Cleveland Ohio, living with my awesome boyfriend (who is in the photo hiding), in the basement of an old apartment. It was cozy enough.... yet, I found that I was often unhappy... Unhappy with my situation, unhappy with modeling, unhappy with my lack of travel, unhappy that I could never get my mustang out of the snow drifts (and even if I could, there was no way to drive it safely)....




















I did love that Pat had a job where we scored free tickets to shows.... it made Cleveland kinda tolerable....


This was the first time in three years I had a steady place to live (since before I was traveling around the country, living out of my car). It was the first time in my life, that overcame my fear of commitment to a person whom I have been dating since I was 21. It was the first time that I felt some sort of responsibility for someone other than myself....

























During my snowy depression in Ohio, I quit modeling for a few months and did nothing but workout and watch movies (I looked fantastic! Seriously). I pleaded with the boyfriend to move somewhere with me when our lease ran up. "Where?" he asked me. - I gave him a little list of places I like and we checked off places until we agreed on Austin.... At the time, I really did not believe we would ever move out of Ohio. I was sure we were there forever.... But having the list made me feel better.


End of January, I got hired by Penthouse to shoot for Danni.com - Met a bunch of cool pornstars, had the chance to see how a photoshoot works in a million dollar home. In January, I also found out that modeling-persona was being printed on Adult Boxes in almost every Porn shop in America (man, they should have paid me more for that for that shoot)























For my birthday, in March - Matthew (my bestest friend in the whole world) and I traveled down to Key West - It was a grand adventure! I rented a car, we ran out of money, and Matt and I camped super low budget for two weeks - living off of free campground coffee, the McDonald dollar menu, and fantastic neighbors who felt guilty that Matt and I were only eating once a day. We swam with dolophins, slept in the shade, read books, watched brilliant mindblowing sunsets, and braved bad tropical storms from our tiny flattened rainstorm tent - it was like a sappy romance novel .... well... without the sex.


Tried to avoid Cleveland as much as possible until the snow melted - In May, I flew out California to check out the Coachella Festival with my modeling buddy Tracy Jordan.... oh the sun so abundant out there in Joshua Tree! In the 110 degree weather, Tracy and I cooked in our midget tent (oh my god, it was a 3x4 foot tent! Tracy and I had to cuddle to make it work...) We danced and partied until the early hours of the morning - The Coachella trip was followed by Tracy's birthday at the Perez Hilton party.... So many stories in that particular month that I cannot re-hash.... but seriously, that was a trip....


June, I was published in the Special Edition Black and White Magazine - thanks to Matthew McMullen Smith, a young upcoming photographer in NYC.


Also went to Sedona with my boyfriend's family. I have been there at least eight times prior, but never did I stay in a resort - Helicopters over the Grand Canyon, riverboats through the Colorado River, Off-roading with Hummer vechicles, getting to know his family a little bit better. For the first time ever, Pat even let me inform a few of his family members that my modeling involves being naked... it was awesome... I really hate lying all the time.


It Was around that time, where all the blog readers pitched in and bought me a pair of glasses.... : ) I love you guys so much, thanks for helping me see again!


























Around July, Pat told me that he was putting in his two weeks notice - he was completely serious about moving to Austin "Whoaaat!?" Truly never expected it.... Pat was going to trust me enough to quit his job, live without income or a place to sleep every night. He was going to move to city he had never seen before, a city he had no ties to, no family in, no jobs lined up, no apartment to live in - He was trusting me that much.... "Oh my god, I am moving to Texas!" Estatic. Fucking estatic....

August - Man - August. That was the month! I cannot explain it to you. Packing up the house, figuring out how to model my way down to Austin and make enough money for two cars, gas, hotels, food, sight seeing, Burning Man and first month's rent... and THEN I found Perry, the stray male/female cat, at the MethMotel - Which lead to a boyfriend, a cat, Burning Man, AND an apartment that did not exist yet... wow..... We had a great time. Two months on the road..... Such an adventure, totally blind.... Nashville, Alabama, New Orleans, Texas (which we bypassed, for the most part, because Burning Man), dropped the cat off in Arizona with a college photographer....

Burning Man.... Pat's first year, my third year.... No need to explain it - My entire year revolves around it..... that is just how special it is to me...



September, after Burning Man, I kidnapped Matthew and Patrick and we drove out to Harbin Hot Springs for a few days - I love the magic of Harbin - and Matthew still talks about it..... Eventually in late September, Pat and I made it back down to Texas - In only five days, we had found the cutest apartment ever, only 5 miles from downtown, with the coolest roommates ever (they are like family to me now), and I am SO happy! In come cases, location will not make a difference in your life, in my case - it made all the difference.....

I Keep reading that everyone wants the year to end - but for me, it was a very decent year.... A LOT of great things happened.... Love, trust, relationships, adventure, new cities, friends, great photos. I am looking forward to 2010, but if it could stay 2009 for a few more months, it would be fine by me...

My New Years Resolution is to Volunteer! I want to get more involved with the community - I have the time for it - I want to put it to use!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Caution Tape:

Caution tape everywhere! He puts down his camera. The photographer starts unwinding yards and yards of caution tape from my body. He giggles. I look at him. He giggles again. Suddenly, into the air he leaps, clumsy, mid-stride dancing. He tosses the tape - Yellow streamers explode from this arms - They cover the floor, catch the ceiling fan, they color the couch. He yells wildly, "Look London! Look! I am throwing caution to the wind! Get it!?"

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dc tomorrow - NYC next week

Remember that hellish trip that I took to NYC last year? - I packed too much, surfed a new couch every night, wandered around Manhattan with two suitcases, all by myself, freezing, modeling from 10am-Midnight every night. Yea. That one. The one where I broke down half way through my trip, cancelled all my shoots, bought a train ticket out of the city, and told myself I would never model again....

Breakdowns suck. I do not want to have another one - so here I sit in Austin, trying to plan out, exactly how I can pack for NYC. No more suitcases! I cannot drag another suitcase through the piss and grime in the NY subway. Thought maybe a duffle bag would work but looking at it - how in the hell am I going to pack all my fun wardrobe into that tiny little bag?

Shooting with a killer line-up of photographers on this trip: Persicolor, Ransom, Sanders McNew, and maybe even the well published Richard Kern.

Leave for DC tomorrow morning - On the 16th, I catch the Bolt Bus to NYC. Matt gets into NYC on the 18th and we are partying it up and visiting old haunts (and new ones as well) - Pat flies into
NYC on the 23rd to visit his family - I wrap up all my jobs and head out to Long Island to celebrate the Holidays with him. Pat flies back to Austin on the 27th. I fly out to Syracuse on the 28th (which is where most of my family is located) and I fly back to Austin on January 8th.... *whew!*

Photos: Antar H 2009

Saturday, December 5, 2009

How is the weather!?

It snowed yesterday in Austin. It was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly through the trees in the backyard - the snow was falling softly on the grass. My roommate, John, grabbed his acoustic guitar and started walking around the front yard singing "Walking in Winter Wonder Land".... the snow lasted only ten minutes, but it was magical....

What is not magical, is that it is 19 degrees in Austin this morning and our heat is not working - Freezing! We are wandering around the house in winter hats, boots, an sweatshirts.... I am camped out underneath a heating pad right now....

What is happening - Is an iceage taking place right now? Is 2012 upon us already?...

*hiding under my heating pad, storm-watching for impending glaciers*


Photos: Matthew in Tully. Nov 2008