When the weather gets chilly..... I do not turn up the heat in my apartment, no - Instead, I emerse myself in a blistering hot shower! My bathroom becomes an incredible searing hot vortex, in which normal people would either scald to death or melt into a giant puddle of broiled mush bubbling in the drainpipes.... In my sweltering sweat room, I create an ongoing fantasy: I am in a wooden steam bath deep in the Amazon, sharing my company with intellectual guru-types. It is exotic, there are birds in the rainforest, and mist in the trees. Back home in Austin.... my Amazon gurus hang out on my porcelian crapper, making bowel movements, while picking kitten hair off their toes.... I suppose..... every steam bath, in every house, is different.
Best ideas for blogs come to me while showering. Then, of course, by the time I sit down in front of my computer, I have forgotten all the things that were worthwhile - except for this morning! This morning, while I was showering, I recalled a conversation from years ago.... It was this crazy sex story about my friend in LA, and how her and her man had been getting down and dirty in the shower - Somehow, amidst the friction, she slipped and nose-skidded into her bathtub faucet - breaking her both nose, a few teeth, and busting open her lip. Not the best shower story, I know. Perhaps it was the horror of the story, but today I remembered once I sat in front of my computer, and actually decided to Google how many sex related accidents happen in the bathroom (I often spend a lot of time Googling things like this) - And holy hell, I know this has nothing to do with sex in the bathtub, but did you know that you can get electrocuted while taking a shower in a thunderstorm? It is serious! Who knew? Somewhere between 10-30 people get electrocuted every year in their bathtub: Through their metal pipes, through impurities in the water, through bathtub attachments.... They say that the majority of people who survive these freak-accidents are the people who were wearing rubber shoes.....Who wears rubber shoes in the shower? I don't know - I might just put it on my Christmas List.... You can never be too safe, you know.
7 comments:
I used to be like that, searching the internet reading horror story after horror story of awful crap that can happen to you. But then I kinda wised up and tried to find the chances of some of those things actually happening, I mean 30 people out of the well over 300 million people in the U.S. that's about a 0.0000001 chance of that happening to you which in my opinion is too small to even care about... so keep your feet bare, the only rubber thing that should be with you in the shower is something way to personal for me to be talking to you about
That is a fun blog but anyone who is the shower with you will only have one thing on their mind! What a thought.
At least your shower is working right. You know what a rude awakening it is to think its all right and to walk into ice cold water at 5 in the morning? Cold, man. Just cold.
=)
Damn London,
Those may be the hottest pics of you I've seen recently. Especially that first one.. Kudos to the photog who captured you that day. I'm sure this blog was about something interesting, as usual, but I can't for the life of me remember what.
You're stunning.
I've read stories where people have actually gotten killed bcuz the lightning actually came through the NOZZLE of the showerhead. Seriously! I don't ever take showers or charge my laptop during a t-storm. I once lost a TV years ago when a freak summer squal (it was actually a single black cloud over our block) let loose a lightning bolt that sounded like a case of dynamite blew up. Blew it right out of it circuits. So yeah, those stories are most likely true. Be careful down there.
Thank you, friend, for making my next hot shower a very fear-inducing experience ;)
Unrelated, but were you aware of this tumblr account? lol
http://fuckyeahlondonandrews.tumblr.com/
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