Shooting in Mass

Crash Stevens, a photographer who sometimes submits to Easy Rider Magazine, hired me yesterday - While I did not have the chance to meet the owner of the multi-million dollar property we were shooting at (the owner was in Vegas for a 1/4th business, 3/4ths pleasure trip) - his place was gorgeous! Surrounded by 10 acres of woods, a landscaped lawn, five bedroom home, eight shiny Harley's in the garage, tons of old 'dragster' cars lined up the driveway - As if that was not enough, the Owner-guy also built a Saloon in his front yard (all wood, fully stocked bar, pool table, dart boards...) - Afterwards, Crash and I were hanging out, drinking some beer, tossing stories back and forth - When there was all this shouting.... And-oh-so-very randomly, this tall majestic horse came prancing through the trees, across the lawn, trailed by a tiny little pony, being chased this loud screaming woman shouting, "Carrots! Carrots! I got CARROTS! Ho! Ho! Ho! Horse!" - I kept sitting on my stool.... waiting for a punchline about Butt Carrots.... but... it never happened....

Crash's shoot was followed by Matthew Pearl's shoot in New Bedford - Matthew and I took a fantastic little excursion through Lincoln Park, an old abandoned amusement park which was closed in 1987.... The place still boasts one of those old rickety wooden rollercoasters, a burnt down bumper car lot, and walls and walls of graffiti

Today I worked with a guy who just kept telling me how awesome I was! Haha... And I know that I should be humbled... but I could not stop giggling.... He filled in every other ten minutes with, "Have you seen your portfolio? You are so amazing, you are so sexy, you are the best model I have ever worked with - If you come back to Boston, I am going to hire you and make everyone else hire you".... And... while it was not ponies and rollercoasters ..... *It felt like it*... I had a really good day today.

Photos: Christopher Lee Donovan... after a *very* muddy evening of shooting... ha... I feel bad he had to clean the place up afterwards

Coffee and dead people...

Boston has more Dunkin Donut franchaises than cemetaries....

Boston has A LOT of cemetaries - it was founded in 1630

Boston and family stuff...

When I was 16, I lived in Boston for awhile - Attended Lesley Art College for summer classes, hung out by Fenway, watched a famous AllStar practice from a rooftop. Made a few friends, traveled on the T, lived with some aunts and uncles for awhile....

In the present, most of my extended family resides in Boston (now, including my little brother and my step-sister) - Lots of family means lots of free places to crash and lots of transportation around the city.... Yet never before, have I ventured up into the Northeast for modeling jobs - Reasoning? - I absolutely abhor trying to keep my "family life" separate from my "modeling life" - It does things to my Psyche that I cannot repair.... In my home life (also known as my real-life and happy life), my boyfriend supports my job, my roommates know what I do and embrace it (they even let photographers shoot at the house), my close friends enjoy my work, even my Mom will occasionally chat with me about modeling - I love it! With a great group of people backing me like that - I am so happy where I am! I am proud of how far I have come in this industry - I am excited that I have been able to travel the country, make beautiful images, experience great things..... I love the freedom, the people I meet, the stories I have to tell....

....And then I see my Family - It is like a big black cloud descends upon my rose colored glasses - Inky smudged and grease fingered.... My extended family does not know what I do and I do not want them to...... How do you explain to someone who did the "all American thing" and went to college, got married, had kids, makes great money, wove a security net.... That you have no interest in that kind of life right now? My family manages to make me feel ashamed, childish and unaccomplished - Two years ago, I burst out in tears at a family function because my uncle decided to have a discussion about how I was an "embarrassment" to the family, how I was ruining my Mom's life, and about how selfish it was for me to stop attending college.... What to do in those situations? Telling the truth is not an option, my mother would be completely appalled if I announced my career choice to her siblings.... So..... Instead, I get defensive - I starting creating elaborate stories and lies to cover up what I really do.... "Oh, I have a part-time job! Oh I am thinking about getting married! Oh I want kids! I am thinking of enrolling in school next year! We are going to buy a house! I might get a new car"

And that hurts me a lot. I am not that person - That is not who I want to be.... I like my naked job (a lot). I do not want to get married right now. I want a dog from PetsAlive to play catch with. I will go to school when I am ready. I want to live in a dozen more places before I settle down - I LOVE my rusty old mustang convertible....

Tomorrow I headed to Boston - I am staying with my Aunt in Reading MA... This is the first time I have ever modeled in Massachusetts (for the above reason alone) - Do wish me luck! If I survive an entire week of denying who I really am and pretending I am someone else.... I..... should..... be.... totally... nuts... right!? When I get home, perhaps I will start asking Pat if he wants to adopt babies from the Amazon Jungle or I will beg him to let me move into one of those ugly, cookie cutter suburbs in Round Rock that are all that strange puke green color..... *please, please - let this week be easy*

The skunk

Last night, I had a dream that Matthew was chasing a cartoon skunk! He chased it over rivers and through the woods, all over Manhattan, down a beach in the Keys, through a parade in LA... and it just kept blinking at him with it's small little cartoon eyes.... *blink blink*

So I woke up and I drew it in photoshop... what do you guys think? It is pretty friggin awesome, right? Yea, Pepe' La Peu... take that!

SXSW 2010

SXSW just happened here in Texas. Downtown Austin was shut down for four days while 2,000 bands took over. Multitudes of free parties, free music taking up every few feet of space (even the restaraunt supply store across the road had a band playing). Bill Murray was pouring drinks at the Shangri-La, Neutral Milk Hotel was playing on a street corner... even GWAR was here! GWAR was giving away free prizes for whoever got covered in the most blood at their show....

We crammed four guests into our house - Dru, a gorgeous female music artist from Brooklyn, Pat's friend Johnny Wright who is studying Music Law in Detroit, my model friend Barbadoes Pearl from Dallas, and of course, Matthew - Lots of nights of Apples to Apples, partying till we stumbled home on the bus, lots of sing alongs in the apartment - it has been a really fun week. 

As for SXSW - I cannot stand lines! SXSW is FULL of lines - they are everywhere. I kept trying to see "big" "wellknown" bands for the first half of the week... Artists like Band of Horses, She and Him, Muse - but those lines will drive a person MAD! All that standing and doing nothing, standing and not moving - By Friday, I removed all the large bands from my schedule.... Matthew and I trekked over to the East Side, far far away from 6th street.... Visiting small venues, full of talented unheard of musicians (which I think is more of the spirit of SXSW anyways) - Bought all kinds of CDS - Been importing them into Itunes for the last hour....

Matthew.... my best friend, my other half, my outdoor Burning Man pal.... is visiting me until the end of March. I am trying to convince him to leave Syracuse and to move to Texas to live with me ... In order to convince him to leave upstate, I am going to show him all the wonders of Austin. 

Twestival 2010!

Hanging out in Atlanta - Part 1