Courage

Hey, long time reader and a huge fan of your work, I felt compelled to write you. I have to say that I began as just an admirer, but you have become a kind of hero to me. I love the courage you show in your pursuit of life. Normally I would just follow you online and try not bug you, but I just finished reading your entry "The BreakUp" and was a little shocked as it kind of hit close to home for me.

Last year, I also went through a hard break up (Note from London: skipping the deets, cause they are personal). Just wanted to send you some advice. Just remember. One foot after the other - I developed a routine for my everyday to make sure I didn't wallow; I started swimming again, touched base with friends and began to paint as well as write. I made sure I did something physical, creative and social everyday.

I also began taking a harder look at my life. I hated my job. A lot. Years of work for poor pay in a shitty environment. The big reason that I had stayed so complacent was because I had a relationship and a wedding to plan. Once we broke up, I asked to be laid off. I have been free of that job since December 2010.

Part of the reason I did that was because of you. One of the major reasons I read your blog is all the road trips you keep doing. I've never been on a road trip further than Los Angeles (I live in SF). I loved and day dreamed about all the stuff you keep driving around too and the adventures you keep getting yourself in. So in December of last year I went out on a little drive that didn't stop for about 2,500 miles.

In that time I made new friends in Eureka, fell in love with Portland, got dysentery in Seattle (of all places) and saw all of Vancouver. It was amazing. All the people, the beautiful northwest, the drinks and food, the everything. Very theraputic and even caught a couple of double rainbows.

The big thing was the realization of just how big life actually is and how sometimes we imprison ourselves with our own lives. Yeah, I may have still been in pain, but apart of that pain was me keeping my eyes closed to just what else life had to offer and could be.

So, I wanted to say thank you again. You were a strange inspiration for me at a time when I needed it. I also wanted to offer some of the same advice; A reminder that when things seem to be at their worse, it means things can only get so much better. But then again, your the one who taught me that - Hope your living it up, and If you ever hit SF I owe you, Matt, Tracy and Mom-dog a drink, Thank you again,

Vermont

Monday, after Firefly, Matthew, Sarah and Aaron and I drove to Burlington to pick up the dogs. We boarded Mom-dog and Yukon at an unconventional kennel - When Mom-Dog saw the Mustang - She did a victory lap that would put Nascar to shame. Fast fast fast, like a greyhound, up the driveway... down the dirt road... around the house... yard.... mustang....

Matthew, Sarah, Aaron and I drove to Burlington - Located the most American campground you can possibly imagine. American flags, RVs, hamburgers, hot dogs, motorcycles, tons of small children cooking marshmellows. Aaron's request, we grabbed dinner at the Vermont Pub Brewery - Outdoor patio, dog friendly - Ate vegetarian food, while a funk band sang a bunch of ridiculous songs about being vegetarian... Walked through the village square, sang in the Battlefield park, danced in the amphitheatre to My Fair Lady...


Tuesday was the beach. We laid in the sand, let our bodies cook in the sun. Grabbed lunch and supplies at Burlington's CityMarket CoOp. Headed south into the Green Mountain National Forest - 400,000 acres of National Forest. Swam in a dozen rivers and waterfalls along the way, tried to teach Mom-dog to swim - Eventually, decided on a primitive campsite near Texas Falls - Set up camp next to a bubbling stream, found dry wood, cooked some dinner, shared stories until the AM.....

Stopped at an old corner store that has been around since the 1700's on Wednesday - Cute old lady made the most amazing soup I've ever eaten (sorry soup peddler, grandma wins this round, she has been making soup since the 1700s) - Four of us, sat in the grass, eating soup, trying to figure out which direction to head next. During that time, I told everyone about my 2nd cousin's Cheese farm in central Vermont.... They asked, "Can we go there?".... I told them, "I'm not sure. Let me see if I can get ahold of her." Facebook is an amazing thing! Becky told us to stop by whenever, we could camp on her land! Whoo! ..... On the way, we stopped off at the Bigtown Gallery which was showing Edward Koren's work. Arrived at Becky's house around 7pm... Haven't seen her in years. During that time, she moved from NY state to VT, opened a cheese/dairy farm called Blythdale Farm (if you see her cheese in a store, you should try it.. their Brie is particularly delicious!).. She has never been able to make it to any family get togethers because she has 90 cows to take care of.....  Field trip to cheese barn, learned a ton about cheese. Becky explained that they buy cow sperm from a sperm salesman and artificially inseminate all their cows. The sperm book is amazing!.... It's like Build-Your-Own-Cow... Buy semen that will make your cows taller, prettier, more colorful, better milk production, shorter legs, better hooves, longer ears...

Matt woke up at 6am to help milk cows. He was ALL excited to help out. Put on his boots, put on his crappy pants. He cleaned cow udders, piled hay, helped move a pregnant cow into the barn. We all ate breakfast together (banana pancakes!), Around Noon, we headed to my other cousin's farm. She raises Icelandic sheep (for wool, meat, cheese), pigs, chickens, goats - Her oldest son, Keilin is eight years old and he can spin wool into thread. He also knows about every single thing that happens on the farm. He was telling me that when one sheep breeds with another sheep in the same family, they end up looking like bobbleheads. "See that sheep over there with the silly head? The Dad bred with his sister and made a funny looking baby. Ha. Sheep are not very smart, you know."

Firefly Regional Burn

No matter the circumstances, I try to make it to Burning Man every year - Matt and I have been attending since 2007. That was the year, Matthew and I were living out of my car. 2008, I flew into Tucson, drove to the Burn with Tracy and her exboyfriend. Third year, Patrick and I were headed to Austin, detoured to the Burn instead. Last year, I skipped the festival because I felt guilty leaving Patrick with 40 boxes of unpacked stuff in our new apartment - Rites of Passage: End of August: This will be my fourth Burn.... Definitely going.... for sure....

Burningman is only a week long - But the community created through that festival, lasts forever... Thousands of people fueled by love, life, the desire to celebrate - Regional burns happen all over the US..... In the past, I've attended Burning FlipSide (Austin TX) and Toast (AZ). Lightning in A Bottle,  Joshua Tree Music Festival. Last weekend, Matthew invited me to Firefly in Vermont, which is pretty difficult to get tickets to, they cap it at 600 individuals....

I was not in the mood to attend... but... I didn't know what else to do with myself.

Happy I went. Had a good time. Put my head back where I needed it to be.

Three of us drove, elephant trunk to tail, Masha and Michael in one car, Sarah and Aaron in their jeep, Matthew and I crammed in the convertible. Brought our dogs, Yukon (Sarah's Akita) and Mom-dog. Boarded them in Burlington Vermont. Arrived at midnight, set up camp at 5am, climbed into our sleeping bags as the birds were chirping and the sky was beginning to turn back on....

Blurry weekend of happiness - Days run into Days, Nights were Days, Days were Nights.... Made a ton of friends. Friday I spent most of my night helping to set up Store with Matthew (a camp that allows you to pick out clothing for free) - Ate pizza from Pizza Camp, there was a man dressed as a teddy bear, drank a bunch of wine with friends, danced on a hilltop, under some colorful lights, at some point I fell asleep in a hammock with Matthew....

Saturday we partied early, Starship Bring a Cup Camp was open, serving homebrewed beer. The Bug (the burning effigy) needed to be stuffed with wood, no one showed up to help - So our crew volunteered. Matt, Sarah, Aaron, Masha, four other people. Dragging sticks, firewood, trees, stuffing the effigy for the Burn. Great workout! I recruited a ton of people (including some larpers), by seducing them with beer. Abraham was my best recruit of the bunch, really hard working. He ended up hanging out with us most of the weekend.... Partied at Store till sunset, made portabello burgers on a fireplace. Attended the Burn, sat next to a guy making french fries, danced around the embers. Blur! Eventually I curled up with a bunch of hippies and watched Barbarella all night.

Favorite camp at Burning Man? Steambath Camp! They have been attending Burning Man for years, they are Boston Burners and they attend Firefly!.... Matthew, Sarah, Aaron, Abraham, and I... steamed for hours together Sunday morning. Naked. Wet. Breathing hot air. Sweaty. Humidity. Fantastic... Yoga, Art, Hiking - Matthew and I practiced our silly stripping skills in Hammock camp, we played Scrabble with cheeze-its, we ate vegan tofu burritos, dressed up at superheros. Matt wore a turban. We attended the Space party at Bring A Cup. The marching band, that I fell in love with at SXSW, was there - They covered Justin Timberlake and Got Their Sexy ON!.....

Probably sounds ridiculous. But rarely I am attracted to men these days (my job has ruined everything), rarely do I look at someone and think, "I want to kiss that person." It happened, though - Over the weekend, I had my eyes on this smiling eyed bartender at Bring A Cup... Sunday night, after the party, he came over, sat next to me by the fire. I don't know who kissed who, but we were kissing and it was lovely... Matt kept leaning over and going, "If you don't bring him back to the tent, I am going to..." .... But, that was not what I wanted, in my head, that was not what I wanted.... We chatted until 5am, holding hands, sharing a bottle of Sailor Jerry. He asked for my number and I said No (mostly, because I am too vulnerable right now, and it is wayy too soon for boys right now)... But ... In the morning, I decided that by not leaving my number, I was removing every chance of seeing him again - Which was unacceptable. So I left my number. And..... He called me, texted me and he emailed me all in one weekend... He seems *just* persistent enough (which balances out my non-persistentness...), that I might actually see him again... maybe.