Talked on the phone a few times - Mom was sympathetic to my situation - My father (her first husband) was a lot like Patrick... Intelligent, responsible, hard working - but someone who put their friends before the relationship, someone who partied too hard, too often, who smoked too much, drank too much - More importantly, someone who refused to see the negativity in that kind of constant behavior....
She said I was more than welcome to come home. Told her that I was traveling with a dog, she said, "The dog is welcome too." - Packed up my entire life, put it in my car, five days on the road from TX to NY. Pulled into Tully, SO happy to finally be safe and home for a bit - Mom was home, we drank coffee - Twenty minutes later, my Stepfather came stomping up the front steps, red in the face. He looked at my Mother, wild eyed, and said, "What? You thought I wasn't serious about the dog?" Slammed the door, drove away in a red cloud of anger.... Mom just sat there, fish mouthed, staring at me. Finally she goes, "He doesn't want the dog staying here. He doesn't like it." ".... ? ... But you told me that I could stay here with her? I am confused, I'm not getting rid of my dog." And Mom goes, "I don't know what to do. I don't want to fight with him over it. I am sure it will be ok, he will get used to her and it will be ok."
But it is not OK. Before he met my mom, he owned dogs - He is using my dog as an excuse - And.... I cannot stay at their house if he is going to give me attitude for the next month. I know he does not like me, but I figured he could tolerate me for a single month while I get my life straightened out. I cannot stay there if he is going to hate on Mom-dog. She is a great animal.... No one could ask for an easier, timid, quiet, well behaved dog.
So I tell her "I won't stay in this house and make you fight for me. You should not *have* to fight for me. If I was one of his children, this would not be an issue - But we know it is not about the dog, it is about me..... Just wish that you told me about this earlier, I would have made other plans.... I wouldn't have come here, I wouldnt have driven 1,700 miles to be in this situation..." So I packed up all my stuff again and I said, "I think it will be better if I go somewhere else..."
She protested a bit, but said, "Yea, it is probably for the best... Do you have a place to stay? Lets do lunch next week...."
WHAT? Are you kidding me?... I know it sounds bitter... but.... Yea... That is what I need, Mom. Lunch. Yes. I drove 1700 miles for Lunch...
Not a big deal that I am homeless for the next month or so.... Not a big deal that you were not honest about fighting with my step father. Not a big deal that you just turned your only daughter away when she needed you most..... I've had 40 strangers, people in every area of the world, ofter me their homes, their vacation homes, bedrooms in their houses, with their families, with their friends, their kids.... 40 (this blogging/social networking community is unbelievable). Out of all those offers.... All I wanted was my Mother - I wanted her love and advice, her company, her positive outlook, her friendship... and I got offered lunch?.... Blah.
Got in my car and Cried A LOT - Lost my boyfriend and my family all in one week. Feel like I have nothing to look forward to .... Was lucky though, Matthew is also living in Syracuse right now... And he did not just offer his home, he forced it upon me. Called me over and over again until I broke down and said Yes. So I am currently living with Matthew for the next three weeks.... and then... I don't know. I don't know where I am going. I don't know where to start. I have never been in this position before. It is a very lonely place to be.
In the meantime - Matt says I have to stop dwelling on my problems. So we are driving to Vermont today, going to a festival in the woods.... I suppose it will take my mind off things for awhile. It will not fix my life or my situation much - but I could use a break for a bit....
Enjoy your Fourth of July! Enjoy your family and hug them a bunch!... : )