Type. Pause. Type. Pause.

Incredible difficulty with approaching my blog this morning. After typing a few sentences, I watched a movie, deleted half of what I typed, played with the dog, retyped the majority what I just deleted, made myself a ham sandwich, took a shower, strolled back to screen only to delete all the nouns from my blog. Perhaps I am trying to create some sort of original poetry or something? "Please disconnect these wires, information overload *crash crash crash*....."

Here is a No-Noun Poem:
"Called, seems lost
Angry yelled in my No longer works!
Walked fourteen, but were not at
Sad Sad, didn't work"

After the 2007 roadtrip, Matthew got a job selling decorative ribbons to people who are so deliriously rich, they have no idea that they are blowing $1200 on a bunch of ribbons. Mo Money, Mo Problems, Mo Ribbons. Called him up at his job yesterday. An angry sounding lesbian answered, "Matthew? He no longer works here." WTF? I stopped by his apartment yesterday after work and no one answered - he does not have a cell phone or a computer. I am worried.... More than anything, I hope he quit and that he was not fired... Matt gets really depressed when he does not fit into the whole society/working culture thing. He just wants to read books on the universe, meditate, and pretend he is a Yogi. Matt, Matt, Matt if you ever find a computer - write me, I need to hear from you.....

I worked with a really good friend yesterday - and he gave me a million CDs to listen to on my roadtrip! Super excited, if there is anything that I need more of on my roadtrip, it is music.... Nelly Furtado, the 2008 Grammy Awards, Rolling Stones, Janet Jackson, some opera, some dance, some silly rap music to ghetto bump to...

Oh! And I never got to thank everyone who bought me birthday presents! I got the new seat covers, new Bettie Page mascot stickers to piss off the old catholic grannies in the southern states, a box of magical (says so on the box) tea, and a book about Route 66 (which will come in handy, I am all over the old route 66 in two weeks!) Just think... all your stuff is going to go around the US with me... Thanks for helping make the trip more colorful!

"Man, them mosquitoes 'round this place big enough to rape a chicken."

Best line in the book Eat Pray Love. I do not know how long I giggled over that particular line. It is the visual of it. My mind is far too picturesque.... bugs raping chickens.... oh, man-oh-man.

I wonder if there will be mosquitoes raping chickens up in Alaska.

So how do you think the fivenakedmodels channel is working? Good? Bad? Feedback? What would you like to see more of, less of? I film tomorrow - I really have nothing particular to talk about... let me know!

Was a thread on MM tonight....

Thread - " Models, have you ever done a nude shoot which a photographer who was obviously and visibly very sexually turned on by the work you two were creating? How do you handle this? If you were in the position would you finish the shoot or leave right away?"

And that got to me to thinking of some of the more harmless, entertaining things that have happened while modeling.... one of them in particular stands out to me (hehe, literally...)

A few months ago, I was driving through the middle of nowhere mid-west. Somehow, someway - located a paid shoot a day or two before I came through town. Photographer was a nice guy. Mid aged, family man. Clark Kent job was working as a newspaper editor for a small paper or something. What most prominently sticks out in my mind though, are these horribly bad white-washed 80's jeans that he was wearing.... just tight, tight, tight - probably ruined his sperm production years ago back when he was teasing his hair and wearing leg warmers. So we are shooting some artsy stuff near the window and he gets this HUGE (I am talking monstrous) erection. It had to be soooo painful, because there was barely any room in his pants to start with. I did not know what to do and he seemed like such a sweet guy, so I just tried my best to ignore the giant monstrous thing poking down his thigh.... well eventually this wet pre-cum stain started showing up, and I just could not take it anymore. Just cracked up and excused myself to the bathroom - where I giggled like a crazy woman for five minutes.... ha.

Eventually I returned to the shoot, and Thor calmed down - and we finished the session... but I thought it was just hilarious. Not that he had an erection, but that he had an erection in white washed jeans with a pre-cum stain.... now that is just pure class.

Family Life

You know, coming Home for me is always a little bit hard. I remember when "Home" was a place that I needed in my life..... When I first started modeling, I would jump on a plane and come "Home" every chance I got. A physical place to ground myself. A life with so little familiarity, I need a constant in both modeling and reality to make sense of my life. It has been a disappointing realization that "Home"..... right now sucks ass. The tension is atomic; atmosphere poison - half of us do not even converse any longer. I feel like I partake in a family, that if put on Jerry Springer, would either walk off stage or beat eachother's faces in....

... sometimes I feel like violence might be the best answer to this.....

For now, I will continue to do the same thing I always do when I come "home" - which is simply concentrate on leaving again, psyche myself up for it. Hope that when I return in August, everyone will get along, perhaps a bit....

Yes, some families have it much worse - but that is not a comfort to me ...

Just want to get to NYC, and when I get there, I am sure I will just want to get to Houston and once in Houston, I am sure I will just want to get to California... I cannot sit still. Just gypsy-in around the world, that is all I know how to do right now.